Last night, Glamour held its Women of the Year Awards in London where the honorees did manage to make some fashion statements, except not the good kind.

Halloween-quality wig aside (What? She can't afford a lace front?) Donatella Versace was probably the best dressed. So, you know, brace yourself for what's to follow.

Donatella's daughter Allegra's dress was cute, but she appears to have some circulation problems (often indicated by purple hands/feet). I thought she was wearing gloves.

Although it's a bit too casual, I like Eva Longoria's bold orange dress — but when paired with black nails, it's not exactly a summer-y look.

Jessie J is doing that thing that's popular now, wearing a bathing suit under some fabric stringed together.

Alexandra Burke's MiO energy dress was pretty unappealing but her metallic graphic nail art saved the day.

These looks aren't bad, but they're nothing to write home about either: Lily Collins, Sofia Vergara, Lily Allen and Natalia Vodianova, who couldn't be bothered to do anything about her hair.

Some ladies at least made some kind of effort at dressing up. Kelly Rowland had the best results, but Lea Michele and Kylie Minogue were underwhelming, while Jessica Alba's elongated nightie was kind of awful.

Lace mistakes: Kelly Brook, Amanda Holden, Jessica Brown Findlay, and Katherine Kelly.

Remember when we made fun of Bethenny Frankel's shapewear apron bra wondering who the fuck would ever wear it? Well, Naomi Watts would, apparently.

Alexandra Roach's book pure is cute, but her dress is unbelievable frumpy and unflattering. Paloma Faith looks to be angling for a role in the remake of Hocus Pocus. Perhaps Abigail Clancy is going for that line from Working Girl, "I have a head for business and a bod for sin." Model Alice Dellal is just inexcusable from head-to-toe, but it's her head that is particularly troubling. Is it considered "ombre" if it's actually "roots"?