Buttsex-Obsessed Lawmaker Claims Being Gay Will Kill You

The bottomless well of WTF that is the Virginia GOP has vomited forth yet another ridiculous sound bite. This time, Delegate Robert G. Marshall, who just last week justified his anti-gay marriage stance by asserting with a straight face that "sodomy is not a civil right" has informed attendees at a Central Virginia Tea Party rally that being a homo will shorten your life span by 20 years. But it gets worse: Delegate Marshall is running for Senate.

Marshall's Capitol Hill dreams are being buoyed by a pathological fear of what he endlessly imagines gay sex to be, as evidenced by both his virulent (and, sadly, successful) opposition to the judicial nomination of Tracy Thorne-Begland, a gay man who was denied a judicial post by the Virginia House of Delegates because he's a gay, and his new insistance that dudes boinking dudes leads to early death. Following the Thorne-Begland debacle, Marshall helpfully informed CNN that it's not fair to call gay marriage or gay rights a "civil rights issue" because, "Dr. Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks never took an oath of office that they broke. Sodomy is not a civil right."

Delegate Marshall didn't stop his Homophobia Tour 2012 there, though. He's since doubled down on that statement, and further informed a crowd of about 50 to 60 Tea Partiers that while consensual gay sex is protected by the constitution, "But you know what that behavior does? It cuts your life by about 20 years. It causes increased health problems. It doesn't serve the common good to promote this."

His belief that there's not buttsex in the constitution is correct — at no place in that Sacred Document do we find mention of the virtues of lube — but to be fair, the constitution doesn't specifically talk about good old fashioned P-in-V fucking, either, so one could argue that what Marshall thinks is an anti-buttsex crusade actually endangers the blow jobs and procreative sex for all Americans.

America: where we'll accept dazzling levels stupidity, as long as it's hatefully Puritanical enough.

[Richmond Times-Dispatch]