Last night, we were introduced to the 1920s version of a marriage test, and this took some of you on a trip down memory lane—specifically to that magical time in your life when you took teen magazine quizzes. Fortunately, kitten menorah shop stepped in and took the liberty of writing an epic one for us all to take:
I felt exactly the same way, so here's one to make up for our shared disappointment. (Note: it is based on my memories of how very cleverly disguised the quiz scoring system always was in Seventeen.):
1. your partner comes home from the office really late. do you:
(a) give him/her the silent treatment-that'll teach him/her!
(b) give him/her a big kiss-you missed him/her soooo much!
(c) start yelling the minute you hear the key in the door-don't let him/her think he/she can get away with this sort of thing!
2. you get a big promotion! do you:
(a) run around the office telling people, and then later call your partner to share your news
(b) call your partner right away! you can't be completely happy until he/she knows!
(c) keep the news to yourself-you might be able to use it against him/her later on.
3. in 10 years, do you see yourself:
(a) still with your current partner, I mean, you guess.
(b) madly in love with your current partner and raising 7 kids, obviously!
(c) crouching in the darkness outside your current partner's kitchen window. the warm light from inside bathes your partner and his/her spouse in an idyllic glow as they slow dance next to the sink, but it cannot melt the icy hatred in your soul. you debate between leaving a voodoo doll made entirely of your hair on his/her doormat, or writing eldritch love symbols on his porch rails in a mixture of cranberry sauce and glitter.
Scoring: give yourself 4 points for every answer of (a), 1 point for every (b) answer, 6 points for answering (c) for questions 1 and 2, and one thousand points for answering (c) for question 3.
0-2: Really? This is not a score that is possible. Try your math again.
3-4: Congratulations! You'll be a great match.
5-12: You're clearly just running out the clock with this dude/lady until the right one comes along. Dump him/her already!
13-1008: You are a terrifying crazy lady and please never ever come over to my house.
Well, how do you rate?
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