Bill Clinton Had His Picture Taken with Some Porn Stars and of Course It's All About HillaryS

Well, it seems that Billiam Clinton, a married man, was caught on film in mixed company publicly touching three non-virgins (and menstruators, no doubt!) who are not his wife. Quel scandale!!! The shocking incident took place at a fundraising gala* for the Prince Albert II of Monaco Foundation and the William J. Clinton Foundation, and the non-virgins in question happened to be noted pornography stars Brooklyn Lee and Tasha Reign, and allegedly non-porny regular lady Jennifer Taule.

Despite the fact that Bill Clinton gets his picture take with approximately one million people per day, almost all of whom are unrepentant fornicators, this is obviously a huge deal. I mean, Bill Clinton got a blow-job once, you guys!!! Predictably, the tabloids are on it. "Uh Oh! Former President Busted With Porn Stars!" writes Global Grind. "Bill Clinton caught posing with porn stars in Monaco," says whatever this website is. Caught! Busted! Because obviously when he deliberately looked into the camera and posed for that picture in a room full of people (one of whom was BILLY ZANE, BY THE WAY), Bill Clinton thought he was pulling the greatest covert grift of all time. Hillary would never find out. Curse you, Twitter!

Bill Clinton Had His Picture Taken with Some Porn Stars and of Course It's All About HillaryS

Last time I checked, a person does not relinquish their U.S. citizenship once they choose to act in a pornographic movie. Porn stars are people, porn stars vote, and porn stars are more than welcome to attend fundraisers and have their pictures taken with famous politicians.

But, wonders the always astute Daily Mail, "What will Hillary say?" Well, um, probably nothing. Because she's the Secretary of State? So she's, you know, probably too busy to sit around reading Daily Mail articles about how her husband had his photo taken at his own fundraiser, in between tell-alls about a pensioner who gave Botox to her dog, and a Liverpool man who married a grilled-cheese sandwich (slippery slope!).

The Atlantic Wire breaks down the media response:

Perhaps the funniest, and not really funny haha thing, to point out is the general reaction to this photo—laughs, virtual pats on the back, etc. etc.—versus reaction to recent ones of Hillary drinking beer in Cartagena, or, even more recent than that, photos of her not wearing makeup while working. For both of those photos she was taken to task; people were outraged in various ways, calling her ugly, irresponsible, a shame to her job and womanhood.

Neither Bill nor Hillary's recent photographs warrant outrage of any kind, but if I had to pick one...a former president sandwiched between the stars of Spouses Nut on a Latin Slut 1 and Seduced by a Real Lesbian 9 is slightly more attention-worthy than a photo of the Secretary of State having a face. But no. Not only is Hillary's face the bigger story, she has to be the punchline of Bill's porn-star photo too. Cool.

Maybe I'm going out on a limb here, but the idea that Hillary Clinton would spend one second of her life caring about this photo implies that her reaction to it would be jealousy. She would be threatened by these porn stars. And if she's threatened by these porn stars, then the implication is that she wishes she could be the kind of woman to hold her husband's attention at stupid Monaco fundraising galas. As though the instinct to be a petty, jealous, "traditional" wife would be stronger than the drive to be a sensible, independent, busy-and-powerful-as-fuck Secretary of State. Sorry, but I just don't buy that. I don't have any inside information about the nature of the Clintons' marriage, but I suspect they covered the "Bill will sometimes be in a room with women who aren't Hillary" territory a long time ago. So calm down, 'bloids. Hillz is busy.

*Which was hosted by Prince Albert of Monaco and called "Nights in Monaco," which obviously makes me think of 1 Night in Paris and 1 Night in China which obviously makes me think about Prince Albert of Monaco's vagina.