Last fall, our trusty Congress officially declared that pizza was a vegetable because it has tomato sauce on it. Yeah, that was definitely a high point for democracy. Anyway, that led to us all making tired cracks about how we were at least getting our vegetable when we ate pizza, but in some small way, it did make it seem slightly more nutritious to eat pizza. I mean, not really, but in that weird place in the back of your mind where you justify things by saying stuff like, "I've already had three drinks, and it's bad luck to have an odd number of drinks so I have to have one more... Oops. Oh well, it's good luck to throw up on the sidewalk!" Aaanyway, so now this do-gooder Congressman named Jared Polis (a Democrat from Colorado, in case you were curious) has introduced The SLICE act, which stands ready to rob us of our government-sanctioned pizza-vegetable, if it's passed. You'll be relieved to know that The SLICE Act, which stands for School Lunch Improvements for Children's Education, does not wish to destroy pizza altogether, only to declassify pizza as a veggie. Rep. Polis said,
Pizza certainly has its place in school meals, but equating it with broccoli, carrots and celery seriously undermines this nation's efforts to support children's health and their ability to learn because of better school nutrition.
Ugh. Fine, Congressman Buzzkill. You win, and so do the children... Whatever.
Image via Nils Z/Shutterstock.