Mysterious Underpants Thief Terrorizes West Tennessee

Okay, not exactly. But some lady in Tennessee allegedly broke into her neighbor's house and stole a bunch of weird shit, including a bath mat, tampons, and all the underpants. Strangely, she failed to steal a laptop, jewelry, or pretty much anything else that is actually worth money.

The perpetrator, compellingly named Stormy Moody (what, does she teach ennui at Hogwarts?), was caught after immediately parading around her front yard wearing her neighbor's stolen Bob Marley shirt. I can only speculate as to her end game, but she was taken into custody and charged with aggravated burglary and theft over $1,000.

Here is a complete list of the items Moody allegedly burgled:

Mysterious Underpants Thief Terrorizes West Tennessee

-Laundry Detergent
-Panties and Bras
-DVDs - Multiple Movies
-Bag of Makeup
-Frog Shower Mat
-Clothing Items
-Black Sweat Pants
-Men's Cargo Shorts
-Bob Marley T-shirt
-Dishes
-Fishing Equipment
-Lava Lamp
-Shark Steam Mop
-iPhone
-Flat Iron
-Curling Iron
-Tampons
-Race Car Rug
-Child Toys
-Child Seats
-Brooms and Dust Pans
-Blender
-Post and Pans
-Cleaning Supplies
-Picture Frames
-Various Jewelry
-Proactive Skin Creme
-Camcorder and Bag
-Deodorant
-Plastic Tote
-Hair Mousse
-Dunkin' Donuts Coffee and Filters
-Band-aids
-DVD Sleeves
-Giant Coloring Book

Okay. While I can't restrain myself from making fun of underpants theft, it obviously wasn't Stormy Moody's super terrific life that led her to this point. So here's hoping that she gets whatever help she needs. And you know what? I get it. Those Proactiv commercials are really convincing.

Photo credit: photomak / Stockfresh.