It's been one year since actor Doug Hutchison married his child bride Courtney Stodden, the aspiring pop singer/lucite-heel enthusiast 35 years his junior. We celebrate the happy couple's paper anniversary by reveling in some of the romantic moments that caused the world to fall in love with their love story.
1.) The First Interview
The American public was introduced to Courtney and Doug when the couple opened up their home to Nightline's cameras, which captured Courtney's portrayal of facial horniness as she gazed upon her husband the way the rest of us do a plate of nachos.
2.) The Second Interview
When it the couple spoke to E!, it was perhaps the first time that, "You're so bad!" was ever said on television without a hint of parody, sarcasm or irony.
S 3.) The Holidays
The first year of marriage is typically when couples establish the traditions they will follow in years to come. If this past year is any indication, the Hutchisons will be spending kiddie-favorite holidays like Halloween, Christmas, and Easter with highly-sexualized, completely inappropriate photo shoots.
4.) The Tits
Everyone knows that with fame comes haters. Unfortunately, Courtney was subjected to a number of terrible accusations, like that she had breast implants. So she did what any bullied person would do: She went on national television and had a doctor examine her boobs to prove that they were rilly rill.
5.) The Dogs
After they'd already captivated one nation with their love story, Courtney and Dough took their act out on the road, visiting their May-December relationship upon other continents. What's most notable about this Australian interview are the couple's dogs: A Yorkie named Tuna and a pink something or other named Bizarre, both of whom seem adequately embarrassed to be involved in the whole ordeal.
S 6.) The Signature Look
Courtney Stodden is nothing if not dedicated to her clear heels and bra straps. Never before has anyone made the concept of invisible clothing so noticeable.
7.) The Web Series
All year long, we were promised that the Hutchisons had been working on a reality show, but apparently no networks were interested and unlike Courtney's bra straps, midriff and butt cheeks, we never had the chance to see it. Finally, the couple took the footage and launched a web series, the first (and as yet, only) episode being about a foot injury.
8.) The Hello Kitty
This video, of Courtney dressed as Hello Kitty and pretending to be an actual cat—including digging in a litter box and eating actual cat food—set to some nu metal suggests that the Hutchisons plan their days around trying to get us to think of Courtney as a piece of pussy.
9.) The Music
Just because she's married and busy taking sexy pictures in pubic places doesn't mean that Courtney has abandoned her dreams of pop superstardom. In May 2012 she dropped her single "Reality."
10.) The Activism
This year was a big one for Courtney, not just because she married a man four years older than her father, but because she became an animal activist and a vegetarian. In an effort to convince others to do the same, she made a series of videos extolling the sexiness of vegetables, like raw onions.