'Black Madam' on Trial for Illegal (and Deadly) Butt InjectionsS

This week in butt news, here's a bunch of totally horrifying butt news. A "a transgender gothic hip-hop artist" who goes by the name Black Madam is on trial for allegedly administering illegal (and sometimes lethal) silicone butt injections. Like ya do. After the procedure, one 23-year-old client began vomiting blood and developed severe respiratory problems due to silicone particles accumulating in her lungs. Pro tip, ladies: If someone offers to do something to your butt that sounds just one exploding spider egg sac away from an urban legend, TAKE YOUR BUTT ELSEWHERE.

Black Madam's (real name: Padge Victoria Windslowe) so-called "pumping parties" took place in private homes and hotel rooms, where she would charge clients (largely exotic dancers hoping to enhance their professional prospects, it seems) $1000 for four silicon butt injections that would transform their ordinary butts into the best butts ever. Then she would close the butt-wounds with krazy glue. "After being injected and sealed, Windslowe told the women to lay on the floor for four to five hours, to not sit on their buttocks for three days and to drink a lot of water, the victim said." You know, like a doctor! Then everything was awesome! Except for not.

After Windslowe gave her the Feb. 19 injections the woman's temperature rose to 109 degrees and she started throwing up blood, she said. She went to Temple University Hospital, where they diagnosed her with pneumonia and sent her home. When she continued to have trouble breathing, she went to Lankenau Medical Center, where doctors discovered she had fine particles of silicone in her lungs.

As for her career as an exotic dancer, the woman said she can no longer do pole work and can't dance as long because she gets out of breath. She said she's now depressed and has lost feeling in half of her face.

What makes this case even more tragic is that the above victim knew about the death of one of Windslowe's previous clients (a British woman who died in 2011), but chose to go ahead with the procedure anyway because "everybody was doing it." In case anyone was wondering how it hurts women when we train them to believe that nothing—even their health—is too great a price to pay for the "perfect body," well, sometimes it makes their lungs come out their mouth.

Offering one bright light of hilarity in the otherwise gruesome swamp that is this case, Black Madam's attorney (who has apparently recently received a giant brain injection!) "argued that one of the reasons his client isn't a flight risk is because she always wears four-inch heels." BRILLIANT. Weirdly, the judge did not buy it. Black Madam remains in jail on $750,000 bail.