Skechers to Pay $40 Million Settlement for Totally Lying About Their Stupid Butt-ShoesS

You know those horrible fucking Skechers foot-loafs that, according to the commercials, will transform your lumpy regular-person buns into the magnificent celebrity-buns of Hollywood's fourth-most-famous Brooke? Yeah, those things. Well, now they're not just painfully, obviously stupid, they're also legally stupid.

Says ABC:

"Skechers' unfounded claims went beyond stronger and more toned muscles. The company even made claims about weight loss and cardiovascular health," David Vladeck, director of the FTC's Bureau of Consumer Protection, said in a statement. "The FTC's message, for Skechers and other national advertisers, is to shape up your substantiation or tone down your claims."

The FTC also alleges that Skechers manipulated and "cherry-picked results" from studies to support their claims. In one case, the FTC says Skechers touted the endorsement of chiropractor Dr. Steven Gautreau, but did not disclose that Gautreau was married to a Skechers marketng executive and that Skechers paid him to conduct the study, which the FTC alleges did not support the claims in the ad.

Ha!!!!! Skechers is charged with one count of false advertising, two counts of not-being-magic, and one million billion counts of eyeball-crime. The company has agreed to pay out a $40 million settlement rather than go to trial. If you wasted your money on Skechers Shape-ups, Resistance Runner, Toners, or Tone-ups shoes, you are entitled to a refund.