Most Popular Baby Girls' Names Sounding More and More Like Genitalia

The US Social Security Administration released a list of the most popular baby names from 2011, and each of the top 5 girls' names ends with the letter "a." You know, like your privates.

While Labia, Vulva, Vagina, Areola, Ova, Crura, and Vaginal Corona have yet to crack the list of the top 10 most popular baby names for girls, other hyper feminine names did. The kindergarten class of 2017 will be teeming with Sophias, Emmas, Isabellas, Olivias, and Avas. Rounding out the top 10 were Emily, Abigail, Madison, Mia, and Chloe.

About half of the boys' names sound like names given to boys that a teenage Mitt Romney would have punched in the stomach— Jayden, Mason, Ethan, and Aiden. The other six most popular were pretty similar to what people might have named baby boys in 1910— Jacob, William, Noah, Michael, Alexander, and Daniel. Jacob has topped the list for the 13th year in a row. Soon, the world will be run by an army of Jacobs.

None of the popular names are that much of a surprise; since about 3/4 of my high school class and half of my college class has reproduced in the two years or so, I feel like my Facebook feed gives me a pretty good handle on what parents of all stripes are naming their kids nowadays. But what my idle social network browsing didn't give insight to was the least popular names, which are way more awesome/interesting than the most popular names.

Unfortunately, the SSA doesn't let users browse the names so rare that they were only given to one or two kids last year, but rounding out the top 1,000 are some pretty interesting syllables and spelling variations. Like Kohen, a name given to only 194 boys last year. Or Damaris, which was only given to 250-odd girls born in 2011. Other unpopular girl baby names in 2011 include Malaysia (with 262 incidents), Esme (258 babies), Kyndal (273), Regan (276), Yaritza (276), and, surprisingly, Ann (252). Rare baby boys were named Cayson (194), Major (196), Maxx (203— and yes, that's with two x's, to denote the baby's future exxtremeness), Bridger (205), Crew (208), and Keyon (193).

Surprisingly high on the list? Brooklyn, clocking in at the 19th most popular baby girl name in 2011. The other boroughs weren't as well represented; apparently no one wants to name their kid Manhattan, Bronx, Queens, or Staten Island.

[SSA]

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