Texting Ladies Is Really Hard

We're pretty sick of the "single woman freaking out about dating and technology" trope that's so exhausted in modern rom-coms and TV sitcoms — "OMG, how many exclamation marks can I use to respond to his text without seeming desperate?!!?!?" — because it's just another way for lazy writers to prove that ladies be crazy when it comes to love.

But according to a study from dating advice website TBS, it's not just women who stress about texting: 32% of men polled think the most frustrating part of trying to start a romantic relationship is "confusion about what to say in a text" and anxiety about when to send it.

Text messaging logistics beat out more traditional concerns, in this order:

  • Enduring a stalling conversation with an attractive woman who they have recently met
  • Approaching women in the first place
  • The awkwardness that comes along with a first-night kiss
  • And only a minority of men chose "having women see you a a friend, not a love interest" and "hitting it off with a woman only to have her shift her interest to someone else" as their least favorite parts of dating. These survey responders might be neurotic, but they do not lack self confidence!

    Perhaps this survey provides some context for Reddit's hilarious/horrifying "What's the weirdest pickup line you've ever heard?" thread, compiled by both women who've received them and men who've tested them out. (Apparently, Reddit women don't use pick-up lines on men.) Some highlights/lowlights:

    Yesterday while in Target with my three year old son, a guy in line asked me if he was my only child. I answered yes. His next question was "Would you have more?" Not sure where this was going I answered honestly "Yes". He responded, "Really? Are you doing anything for dinner?"

    I was ordering a drink at the bar. Man comes up next to me and introduces himself and asks my name. Before I speak he stops me and says "Wait, I know your name... Its gillette.. because you're the best a man can get."

    I am a 6' female & wore heels out to the bar one night.
    "Wow you're pretty tall. Do you ever date shorter guys?"
    "Not really, it makes me a little uncomfortable."
    "Well we're all the same height under the sheets, so wussup?"

    Male here... used this on a girl at last call at a bar, got it from here actually. "So, my magic watch tells me you're not wearing any underwear?" "Umm..." "Oh, I'm sorry, it must be 15 minutes off." She walked away.

    This happened to a friend. She was at a frat party when all of a sudden a guy walks over to her, grabs her arms and turns them so her open palms are facing up, then says, "Yep. Those're big enough to hold my dick."

    The insane/offensive/pathetic pickup line is an easy way to deal with the awkwardness of dating, because it lets you display interest without putting too much on the line; if you're rejected after saying something ridiculous, it's more of a joke than a letdown. Because of this, horrible pickup lines will probably survive forever — much like cockroaches — even after we're so advanced that we only talk to each other via our AI technology-designed robot servants. Start doing practice runs with Siri as your wingwoman ASAP.


    Image via iofoto/Shutterstock.