Here Is Snooki As You've Never Seen Her BeforeS

For its "Americana" issue, high-fashion title V gave Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi a "makeunder." After having the bronzer, hair pouf, and liquid eyeliner wrenched from her grasp, this is what Snooki looks like.

Here Is Snooki As You've Never Seen Her BeforeS

Here Is Snooki As You've Never Seen Her BeforeS

And boy, does she seem like fun. Snooki has a self-pitying air — she refers to herself as "probably the number one most-bullied celebrity" — and all she seems to want to talk about is her "branding":

"I have my slippers, tanning lotion, perfume, three books out, sunglasses, and I'm coming out with nail polish, eyelashes, bags, and a Croc-a-dilly"-a plush crocodile she often spoons and carries around on the show, which she is having mass-replicated. She is aloof, bored, petulant, and rarely smiles. When a videographer on set lifts his camera in her direction, the quickness with which the features of her face ignite is borderline frightening. When the lens turns away, they extinguish just as rapidly.

The fifth season of Jersey Shore is now airing, and Snooki compares the experience of being on set to jail. "There are no cell phones, no TV, and you can't read. You can't write or pass notes. You can't listen to music, you can't do anything. It's kind of like being in jail for two months — and people wonder why all we do is drink! It's because there's nothing else to do! It passes the time and makes it fun. If you're sober the whole time, you will go insane and kill yourself." Snooki reportedly earned $150,000 per episode for season 5.

Snook Who's Talking [V]