Kansas City residents affixed funny hats to their dogs and forced them to march in an inaugural Cinco de Mayo Chihuahua parade, an event whose aspirations of Guinness Book grandeur were dashed when a mere 500 dogs showed up Saturday morning. That's about 200 less dogs than is needed to break the current record.
Mark Valentine, president of United Entertainment, the group that found a new way to dilute the meaning of Cinco de Mayo, was nonetheless pleased with the turnout. All the dogs were in costume and, according to initial estimates (some enthusiastic dog lover took a meticulous calculator-aided snout count), about 80 percent of the canine marchers were chihuahuas. More than simply an orgy of Cinco de Mayo misinterpretation, the Kansas City parade raised about $2,500 for The Pet Connection, a local no-kill animal shelter (according to Valentine, chihuahuas "get killed in animal shelters almost as much as pitbulls").
The Guinness people required that a veterinarian be present to confirm that nobody tried to bring a dead dog to the parade, which seems like sort of a shitty job to have, the sort of job that forces people to rethink their career choices. Valentine also said that the event staff had a problem with people smuggling their potbellied pigs into the parade and trying to pass those pigs off as simply dogs made out of bacon. As you can tell from the above image, the chihuahuas were a little more than unnerved by this unforeseen development and we can imagine much teary-eyed shaking ensued.