How to Find Out if Your Spouse Is Cheating? Just Check His Private Jet Registration, of Course!S

Do you feel like something's just a little off in your relationship? Like maybe the husband's a little distant these days? Maybe, at some hazy, half-remembered moment, your "we" stopped being an "us" and now it's just "you" and "him" and, you suspect, a mysterious "her"? Well quit wondering, dummies, and just check on all of his spurious fake charities that he uses as fronts to buy secret Lamborghinis for sexy co-eds!!! God, do we have to spell everything out for you?

In a hilariously tone-deaf listicle entitled "Find Out If Your Banker Spouse Is Cheating On You By Using Financial Records," Business Insider lists the top 13 easiest ways to discover what your pesky billionaire husband is really doing when he says he's "working late."

Like track the flight plans of his private jet (DUH):

Digging up the goods on these purchases is similar to looking up a car registration, however, for private jets you'll need to check with the Federal Aviation Administration.

If you have the tail number of the plane, then you can really have some fun.

"You can figure out where the plane was flown, and which port (your spouse) docked in," Segal says.

And investigate all of his fake charities:

If a spouse is running a charity and donates a portion of the proceeds to a questionable business-or uses the money to rent a lot of office space-that could be a clue that something's amiss.

Another of BI's tips for how to find out whether or not your husband has a secret paramour is "find out who his secret paramour is." Genius!

Zero of the tips are "ASK HIM."

I'm not sure when communication fell out of style as a communication style, but it's totally worth checking out, even if you're rich. And if your relationship is in so much trouble that you feel the need to physically go to the courthouse and dig through public records about yacht licenses, I don't know that subterfuge really needs to be a priority.

Photo credit: (C) IS2 / Stockfresh.