Now that the Bridezilla stereotype has been rendered all but meaningless through over application, what other overhyped, decadently expensive event can we lampoon for driving people to the brink? How about prom???
The Huffington Post — Lord bless 'em and their Pulitzer Prize-winning celebrity kid fashion slide shows — has launched a new page devoted to keeping teen and pervy older users up to speed with the latest news on all things prom, from the annual slutty dress controversy to the annual discussion of how to do your hair in a way that least emphasizes your teen awkwardness. And then probably some obligatory articles about how drinking and driving is bad and why prom really doesn't matter in the long run because it's just one night and there's really no reason to act like it's the most important thing in the world. It's so not important that there's an entire page about PROM NEWZ on the Huffington Post. That's how not important it is.
Prom is the secular sexual bar mitzvah, a mass Quinceañera, a rite of passage that's supposed to be the night that teens abandon the extended arm Frankenstein dance of their middle school years and move on to the inept dance floor dry humping that will characterize their early college party experience. But it's not a damn wedding, and there's no reason to hype it as such. In fact, there's usually no reason to hype a damn wedding as much as a damn wedding is hyped. Besides, I'm having difficulty coming up with a monster-related pun that can be used to denigrate girls who have gone entirely bonkers with prom planning a la Bridezillas for their weddings. Promonsters? Megaprom? Deceptiproms? Prombies? Prom II: Legacy? Naproms? Prominatrix?
Let's go with Prominatrix.