A certain Match.com member kept a ridiculously nitpicky Excel spreadsheet tracking his "in process" ladies. He then sent said document to the girl he liked most, who forwarded it to her friends, and eventually the spreadsheet — which contains his prospective dates' contact information — went viral. Jezebel got this genius du jour on the phone, wherein he attempted to explain what in the world he was thinking.
You'd think a highly meticulous person like our anonymous finance associate friend — who only agreed to speak with us if we didn't name him (though you can get his first name via our brother site Deadspin) — would keep his statistics to himself, but when he told one of his dates about the document tracking his "in process" ladies and she asked to see it, he complied:
Date: Sat, Apr 7, 2012 at 12:15 AM
Well...this could be a mistake, but what the hell. I thought about deleting the names, but figured I might as will give you the whole thing. I only deleted the non-match people's names (at the bottom) since some I've known for a long time. I hope this e-mail doesn't backfire, because I really had a great time and hope to hang again soon :). However, I will keep my word! Have a great weekend!
Our man was corresponding with eight girls from Match.com (he deleted his profile today) and four whom he knows through colleagues, family friends, and his parents. (Aww.) He documented their "online appearance" ("Mixed bag of pictures, but great bod; works in my building, also in finance; well traveled; lives on XXX" is one example) "wink dates," dates of message communication, initial date status, and initial date comments. You can click the image at left to see the full spreadsheet — edited to remove identifying info — or go here.
Some are tagged "Monitor Closely (bold = ASAP)," like the girl who was "Very pretty; sweet & down to earth/great personality; hope to see again soon" and others, such as a girl with a "nice face and bod" but "very jappy; one and done for me," are under "monitor casually."
Despite his organized attempts at dating, it doesn't seem to be going too well for our Type A friend. Although he did drunkenly hook up with one girl after a karaoke party, he's been stood up by one girl who he gchats and texts with — "I honestly just wasn't that interested," she told us over the phone — and it seems like an "old BF may be back in the picture" with another.
"If I had to sum him up in one word, it would be 'fidgety,'" said the woman he deemed "jappy," who was shocked to hear he had distributed a spreadsheet. "He got up to readjust himself a few times in the middle of our conversation, which was bizarre. He kept taking his glasses off and then putting them on again." She said it was funny he called her "jappy," since he was able to correctly identify her designer bag. "He said his mom had it."
We spoke to the dude himself this afternoon, who said it was "an extraordinarily dumb decision" and that, even though he thinks the girl who forwarded the email owed him an apology, "he'll take the blame on this one."
"I work with spreadsheets a lot," he told us. "It's a great additional tool. I work long days, go to the gym, go out on a couple of midweek dates or what not, get home late...how am I going to remember them? I'm not. So I made the spreadsheets. My comments aren't malicious or mean. This was an honest attempt to stay organized."
He said he sent the spreadsheet to his date because "she works with spreadsheets a lot too" and she "seemed like a very sweet girl."
"I won't be using Match.com ever again," he said. "I screwed some people, and I screwed myself."
He added that this is "the worst day of his life" but that he understood why we would want to cover the issue, since the spreadsheet is "wacky and quirky and kind of funny." What a wacky, quirky, hilarious guy.
You can see the full spreadsheet — edited to protect identifying information — here.