Remember that story of how Mitt Romney once strapped the family dog's crate to the roof of the car before a road trip to Canada and the dog was so scared that he pooped all over the car? And then Mitt Romney pulled the car over at a gas station and hosed the car off and then continued driving? Well, according to Ann Romney, that dog wasn't scared; he absolutely loved riding on the top of the car. Animals shit out of love all the time, right?
During a interview with Diane Sawyer as seen through a Vaseline-smeared lens, someone who looked and sounded like a very blurry Ann Romney set the record straight about that fateful 1983 car trip that has provided Gail Collins with so many jokes. Seamus, the family Irish Setter, wasn't afraid of riding on top of the car at all. Instead, he loved his crate. According to Ann, "He would see that crate and, you know, he would, like, go crazy because he was going to be with us on vacation. It was to me a kinder thing to bring him along than to leave him in the kennel for two weeks."
Judging by the Romneys' demonstrated knowledge of how to do regular person things, Ann Romney's characterization of "leaving him in the kennel for two weeks" probably involved dumping out 10 pounds of kibble, leaving a garden hose running, and instructing one of their non-undocumented immigrant house help to look in on the poor dear every few days rather than sending him to one of those fun dog kennels where the animals get to play with other dogs and eat peanut butter from a hollow Kong toy.
Meanwhile, Ann Romney's continuing to play a major role in her husband's campaign, because even though she's sure got the Clueless Rich Lady schtick down to a T, she actually seems like a much nicer person than her husband. You might say Republicans seem to love her so much that they could just shit all over a car.