You know that chirpy pink-dress lady who shills for T-Mobile? (Her name, apparently, is Carly Foulkes.) That lady has always seemed like such a weird, misguided choice to me. Like, she's not familiar or relatable or quirky or particularly warm—she's one of those unattainably model-pretty people who doesn't quite register as a human being. I don't dislike her at all, but she doesn't make me want to buy stuff. Her main salient characteristic seems to be...pink.

So, I don't get it, T-Mobile. Your brand identity is..."magenta"? That's it?

T-Mobile's previous spokesperson was Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Carly Foulkes comes across as a bit of an off-brand substitute. Like what you'd get if you went to the store to shop for some Catherine Zeta-Jones but decided to walk like this. She's like the "Froop Lewps*" of mobile phone spokespersons.

But not anymore! T-Mobile hopes to jazz up their image (apparently they lost over 800,000 customers after the aborted AT&T takeover) by giving Carly Foulkes a black-leather bad-girl makeover. Ha-ha, gross.

The initial ad, called Alter Ego, has Carly tearing through her closet presumably in search of something more bad ass to wear. She finds the black leather motorcycle suit and off she goes atop a motorcycle.

SKREEEEDLEEEDLEEEEEWWW!!! This ain't your granddaddy's mobile communication subsidiary! The makeover feels like a desperate stab in the dark—I'm not sure how making your spokeslady more motorcycley is supposed to sell phones.

Or maybe it's a perfect fit, because bad girls need bad cell reception.

*Contains no actual froop.