God, you guys, you know what sucks? How men are responsible for all human achievement (except, uh, actually making other humans) and women just shit all over them. But now, thankfully, the Men's Rights movement has found a musical prophet fit to deliver the message that men are fed up with the rampant abuse from the ladies. Enter "The Hatred of Women," a song that manages to be simultaneously whiny yet also a little menacing. Can you listen for more than a minute?

I'm trying to be less of a hater, so let's start by saying something nice: it's about as good as a song called 'The Hatred of Women' could be expected to be. Which is to say, it's a steaming, twisting turd following a hearty meal of corn fondue. A Shit Sandwich, but without the sandwich. A Shit Sandwich for someone on the Atkins diet.

First, it never shuts up. At 8 minutes long, it's sort of an American Pie for men who complain that there's no such thing as Men's History, sung by a guy who sounds like he's the Mumford son that was kicked out of the family band for sucking. It's crap, musically— the entirety of the piece is a this one guy looping the same guitar chord progression over itself as he gently bitches in whisper-falsetto about the fact that it's men who did cool shit like build bridges and fight wars and build houses and meanwhile women just sat around collecting alimony checks and emasculating their husbands with their stupid emotional needs and menacingly brandished rolling pins. It sucks lyrically; in fact, after I read through the lyrics, which are helpfully listed with the video's post on YouTube, I realized that the 30 seconds I took to read them is 30 seconds that I will not have to read another poem, a real poem, or to talk to my mother on the phone, or to take a moment to stop and smell the roses. It's 30 seconds that I could've spent going to the kitchen to get some green tea. I will never have those precious moments of my life back. Anyway, here's a sample,

Men have no doubt
Just what they're for
We die at work
We die in war
We die at sea
As the lifeboats float ashore
Women & children,
all aboard

We take the strain
We bear the load
Build the bridges
Sweep the roads
Make the houses
That make the homes
Pay for others
But live alone

The amount of time I wasted reading those lyrics and listening to that song, though, must have paled in comparison to the time this guy wasted writing, composing, and recording it. Shouldn't he have been building a bridge or defeating the Germans or masturbating into a tee shirt or something?

Second, the music video's really boring— just a bunch of construction guys sitting on a beam yelling things at blondes hundreds of feet below. They can't hear you, those blondes! They don't understand that you want them to bounce their titties around like you want it! Yell louder, men on beam! If the artist wanted to make a case for men's rights, he should have posted a Ken Burns-style slide show of pictures of men being oppressed by women. I'm sure they exist somewhere besides that Futurama episode where they go to the planet of the Amazons.

While many of the comments posted in response to the song are super supportive of hating women because they didn't declare or fight in wars, like this one— "Truly inspiring 3 feminists troll dislike it, This is how feminist they turn there heads over the mens right and speak of equality among genders, Lolz hypocrite femicreeps." Femicreeps! Ow, my self esteem. Others cut to the chase and address the song in the context of reality: "You don't sound like someone who's built anything."

Commenters asked the artist whether he'd be writing a sequel, but he says that this song pretty much took care of all his thoughts on the matter. In the meantime, a waaaahmbulance has been dispatched to the man's house with an emergency case containing the world's tiniest violin.

Hologram Tupac would totally kick this guy's ass.

The Hatred of Women: a new terrible anthem for the men's rights movement [Manboobz]