Um, People Are Rubbing Cooch Cream on Their Scalps to Make Their Hair GrowS

Humans will do unusual things in the name of beauty. We get Botulism injected into our faces, we let fish nibble on our feet, we decorate our fingers with carcinogenic paint, and there are bird poop facials and eye creams made of sperm. And some folks swear that Monistat — the medication used to treat vaginal yeast infections — is great for making your hair grow. No, really.

As Toni Parker writes for the blog Black Girl Long Hair:

While perusing YouTube, I recently discovered many videos featuring women using miconazole nitrate to grow their hair. Miconazole nitrate is the active ingredient in the Monistat family of products that are used to treat vaginal yeast infections.

My first thought was hmmm…this must be a joke. However, as I continued to explore Youtube, there were a great number of women, both black and white, making the claim that miconazole nitrate really did grow their hair. But the most intriguing aspect of the videos was the fact that all of them kept a straight face—smiling only when they referred to their miracle cream as "coochie or cooty cream." Yep! They knew it was for that area and they still wanted to put it on their scalp, which really got my attention.

One YouTube user, SuicidesEve, swears by miconazole for "rapid" hair growth, but notes that side effects reported include migrane headaches, tenderness/burning in the area where the miconazole nitrate was applied, ringing in the ears, extreme hair shedding once you stop using the treatment, and "a general feeling of discomfort."

At least one doctor — dug up by a local Fox station in Houston — says, "there's a possibility that it may help," but: "there's no data to suggest it, so it's something that we wouldn't necessarily recommend patients to try." And yet! Lots of women have, hoping for long (or longer) hair.

I phoned the Monistat help line, saying I'd read that one could use the stuff to grow hair; the woman on the other end of the line said, "We've received calls about that, but we don't recommend it. This product is has been tested for vaginal use only." And even then, a mild increase in burning, itching or irritation can occur — and that's on your genitalia. Near the face and brain? Do not want.

Strange Beauty: Monistat Effectively Increases Hair Growth? [Black Girl Long Hair]