It's Easter, which means a good chunk of the population is going to sit their terrified children in the lap of a gigantic pastel bunny that will stare menacingly at them with its large, expressionless eyes. Then, when the kids are in a fear-induced stupor, parents will stuff them full of gross marshmallow candies (Peeps suck, btw), maybe spin them around a few times, and send them off to find eggs cleverly hidden in the spring meadows. Then it's time to eat all the meat they were missing out on during Lent. Easter, when you really think about it, is just a coda to the holiday season, one holiday trying hard to incorporate the best elements of Halloween (candy), Thanksgiving (feast), and Christmas (presents), but actually creating a misunderstood Frankenstein monster of a holiday. Much better to forget all about it, steal some bunnies from one of those greedy bunny one percenters, and spend Sunday bathing with the adorable little rodents in a barely-filled bathtub.