Pop Album By Uzbekistan Dictator's Daughter Promises to be Hilariously Bad

Everyone, your prayers have been answered. Gulnara Karimova, the celebutante daughter of the dictator of Uzbekistan, is going to release another album. This album is going to be Lohan-meets-Real Housewife levels of bad and I can't fucking wait.

Her father, 74-year-old Communist ruler Islam Karimov, has ruled the Central Asian country for decades, and it's long been rumored that Gulnara, who is 39, will take over once he's done. But, according to the AP, she's spent much of her adult life focusing on more heady stuff than running a country. You know, like fashion design and making pop albums.

Her next venture will surely keep the masses abreast of her totally relatable life as the child of a borderline totalitarian who rules with an iron fist. She told her Twitter followers, "All my songs are spoken for different moments of my life. The music is an experiment from trip-hop to soft rock and even pop."

I bet she likes "all kinds" of music, too. I do not want to be Tardy to this Party.

Uzbekistan is an important strategic partner of the US, as it borders Afghanistan and contains pipelines that carry precious, precious fossil fules. Now, with the release of Karimova's album, Afghanistan's future fuel will have some crappy music to listen to on its long journey.

Uzbekistan's first daughter to release new album [AP]