Today, the Maryland Supreme Court is considering the curious case of a couple who has decided to go their separate ways. The same-sex couple was originally married in California, where gay marriage was legal. But when they decided to split up, the state of Maryland denied their request on the grounds that their marriage wasn't technically legal in the state. Now that gays have succeeded in ruining gay marriage, they're seeking to ruin other straight things— like divorce.
Lawyers representing Jessica Port and Virginia Anne Cowan argue that Maryland has been inconsistent when it comes to granting divorces to same-sex couples who were wed in other states. According to the Associated Press, about half a dozen or so legally married gay couples have managed to successfully divorce in Maryland without problems. But in the case of Port and Cowan and one other couple, the state wasn't as amenable. Another wrench in the gears: the state's governor recently signed a law that will make gay marriage legal in the state in 2013, barring the overturning of the law by public referendum.
The two sides' arguments boil down to whether or not a state that doesn't itself perform gay marriages is required to recognize them if they were performed in other states.
Port and Cowan originally tied the knot in California in 2008 and filed for divorce 2 years later. For you Henrietta Homophobes who think a two-year marriage is an example of exactly why gays shouldn't get married, let me you offer you as exhibit A Kim Kardashian's 72-day marriage, which is roughly 1/10 as long as the legal Port/Cowan union. And for all of you Pollyannas who hoped that maybe fighting a common enemy — the state of Maryland — would remind Port and Cowan of why they love each other and prompt them to decide to stick it out, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news. They're still trying to break up. They're not re-in love. This isn't The Parent Trap.
Straight institutions, the gays are coming for you. Watch out "staying together for the kids," "lame sitcom tropes about how awful it is to be married to another guy/girl followed by canned laughter" and "emotional affairs with the new guy at work." Your world's about to get rocked.