A paranoid series of Tweets from Fox News anchor Heather Childers yesterday introduced much of America to the newest, shiniest Our Black President Must Be Blackly Breaking the Law conspiracy theory: according to the deluded ramblings of a birther blog, while locked in a heated primary battle with Obama, Bill and Hillary Clinton became privy to information proving that he was secretly Kenyan and therefore ineligible to run for President. And in order to keep the Clintons quiet, people working for Obama told them that she better shut up about how he's a secret Kenyan, otherwise Barack Obama was going to personally murder Chelsea Clinton. It's true! It's on the inter-net!
There's so much crazy packed in here that I fear if we try to peek in, we'll end up being startled by a whole coiled fake snake of crazy popping out of one of those gag cannisters they sell at joke stores. But let's start with Childers. She's a co-host of Fox & Friends and an anchor of America's News Headquarters, one of Fox News' non-shouty programs. Yesterday, Media Matters noticed that she sent a tweet that read "Thoughts? Did Obama Campaign Threaten Chelsea Clinton's Life 2 Keep Parents Silent?" and linked to a post on Godfather Politics that's called "Did Barack Obama Campaign Threaten Life of Chelsea Clinton to Keep Parents Silent on Obama's Ineligibility?"
Childers thought this sounded like a legit enough thoughtpiece to send to her nearly 4,000 followers. When someone from Media Matters challenged the necessity of sharing a crackpot theory with the Tweeting masses, Childers became defensive, saying she was asking for people's opinions, you guys! She wasn't endorsing it! Later, Childers tweeted, "Here's the thing folks... that ONE topic sure got alot [sic] of you tweeting. Why? I apologize if the article offended anyone. Very interesting."
Last night, an executive from Fox told Mediate that the Tweets had "been addressed with Heather" and that she realized that she'd made a mistake. Oops! I'm a news anchor and I disseminated really crazy, unfounded information and then defended myself! That kind of mistake.
But we haven't reached the end of this loopy journey. Let's take a look at the story she linked to, "Did Barack Obama Campaign Threaten Life of Chelsea Clinton to Keep Parents Silent on Obama's Ineligibility?"
So, according to this new theory that will change everything about American politics, video producer Bettina Viviano, who GP says used to work with Spielberg and has never voted in her life, says that while producing a documentary about voter fraud during the 2008 election, she realized that the Obama campaign is basically a bunch of thugs who go around threatening people they don't like with murder. Writes GP,
This is a powerful video from a lady that has nothing to gain and probably everything to lose by coming forward with her information. It could well ruin her career in Hollywood as so many of the film industry are flaming liberals. It could also cost her her life.
That theory definitely stands up to scrutiny, since everyone who has second guessed Barack Obama's legal status — including Donald Trump, Joe Arpaio, Jim Geraghty, and half of the on-air talent at Fox News — have mysteriously wound up dead over the course of the last four years with backward B's carved in their faces. B for BARACK.
Viviano blames the Obama campaign for the murder of a the chair of the Arkansas Democratic Party and for threatening to kill Chelsea Clinton unless Hillary stopped talking about Obama's birth certificate. But here's where the post gets really deliciously crazy, in a Michele Bachmann Tries Cocaine for the First Time kind of way.
I thought to myself that if they were bold enough to threaten the life of the Clinton's daughter then have they made similar threats to all of the leading Republicans in both the House and Senate? Is this why Congress has remained so silent ever since Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio's March 1st news conference where he provided the American people with the evidence that Obama's birth certificate and Selective Service Cards are forgeries?
The reason, then, that we haven't heard more about Barack Obama's secret Kenyanism isn't that most nominally rational people have decided that it's time to move past the birth certificate issue, it's that the President has threatened each and every one of the Republican leaders of the House and Senate. With what? The murder of Chelsea Clinton? Threatening to break Tim Tebow's constantly-genuflecting knees? The post doesn't say, but it does close with a dire warning,
If he does get re-elected, I'm positive it will mean the end of free elections and free America. We will become another Soviet Union: a land run by an elite group of Marxists who will exploit all of the people for their own personal gain. America, for all intent and purpose will be dead if Obama gets re-elected.
Young man, please see me after class.
Fox News anchor Heather Childers, she of the nose for news that sniffed out this story in the first place, has since made her Twitter account private. Lord knows what sort of fruitcake shenanigans are going on in there now.