Today's dispatch from the Dudes Who Know Nothing About Birth Control Giving Birth Control Advice Ledger: a Wisconsin Senator thinks that if a woman can't afford birth control, she should just Google it. And then, somehow, the women who previously could not afford birth control, not no way, not no how, will be able to obtain it at a reasonable price. The internet is so wonderful.
Tea Party-backed Senator Ron Johnson was asked about the affordability of birth control at an Americans for Prosperity summit in Milwaukee. Scott Keyes, a reporter from Think Progress, asked Johnson why he opposed mandatory insurance coverage for birth control pills, since one in three women have reported being unable to afford contraception. At this point, Ron Johnson let the reporter in on a little secret: it's called "The Inter-Net," and it's got all the answers. Here's the enlightening exchange,
TP: What do we say to the millions of women who can't afford access to birth control?
JOHNSON: My wife actually went online here in Wisconsin and typed in, "what if I can't afford birth control?" Came up, bam. If you can't afford it, you can get birth control in this country. That's a straw-dog argument. There's no conservative who's trying to deny women health care or contraceptives. We're just saying this is an issue of religious freedom. [...]
TP: What do you mean, "if you can't afford it you can get it?"
JOHNSON: You can get it. Go online, type it in. It's easy to get.
So, by Senator Johnson's estimation, the path to affordable birth control is as follows:
1. Realize you can't afford birth control.
2. Google "what if I can't afford birth control?" but do it in Wisconsin, where the internet is fresher.
3. ~*iNtErNeT mAgIc*~
4. Birth control arrives in the mail the very next day along with a note that reads, "Hey, heard you needed this. Love, Mr. Google."
On a related note, a quick Google search of the phrase "straw dog argument" redirected me to a page for "straw man argument."
Goddamn it, Wisconsin. Get it together. You're becoming the Arizona of the Upper Midwest.