Former Senator Enthralled By Sarah Palin's 'Sensuality,' Exposed Knees

In Washington DC, a city where daring to go sans hosiery may be punishable with death, the very sight of a woman's bare knees heaving lustily in the filtered light of a crowded bus are enough to drive some men wild. One of those men is former Senator Arlen Specter, and he's using his forthcoming book to let the world know just how sexy and sensual he thought Sarah Palin was.

Arlen Specter hails from Pennsylvania, America's number one producer of ex-Senators that make women very uncomfortable. The book in question is called Life Among Cannibals, and while most of it is boring old stuff about how people in government are jerks (spoiler alert!), it would probably sell a lot more copies if it were just marketed as straight-to-Kindle government fanfiction erotica (think 50 Shades of Grey meets The Sum of All Fears) since there are some great passages in there about how much Arlen Specter liked to perv on fellow government officials. John Thune, Ted Kennedy, and Dale Bumper get the Specter treatment, but no one gets it lathered on more thickly than Sarah Palin. Of meeting the former Alaska governor in 2008, Specter writes,

Still, she [Palin] was a total charmer, very friendly. The few things she said were intelligent. We were sitting virtually knee to knee in the cramped bus, and she radiated sensuality. Her skirt rode above her knees — not exactly short, but close.

Knees, you say? I hear people get their facebook accounts suspended for showcasing such blatant kneerotica. And why do I feel like if we followed this story arc to its conclusion, it would end up with Specter accidentally nutting all over himself and having to borrow a pair of McCain's Dockers? And why does it seem like the only people who run for office are shame-laden Claude Frollo types secretly drawing boobies during committee meetings?

Arlen Specter in new book: Sarah Palin 'radiated sensuality' [The Jane Dough]