Miley Cyrus Really, Really Wants Y'all to Think She’s Engaged

"Is she or isn't she?!" These are the words that everyone who works for a tabloid magazine is hearing around the water cooler this morning after Miley Cyrus was seen flashing a giant rock on that finger all weekend. So, let's get you up to speed. First feeding the hand that bites her and giving gossip mongers an in by Tweeting this picture of it late last week, she was seen wearing the ring at several high profile events over the weekend. Though some unnamed source is going against the grain by saying that she and boyfriend/fiancé Liam Hemsworth aren't engaged her reps refuse to comment on it one way or the other. And you know what that means: squirrels had better be running scared because Billy Ray Cyrus is lookin' to fix up an elegant wedding feast. [People]


Kazakhstan national Maria Dmitrienko deserves an extra gold medal after she managed to refrain from laughing or crying at Kuwait's 10th Arab Shooting Championship when organisers played the spoof anthem from Borat as opposed to the real one during the awards ceremony. Featuring such charming lyrics as "Kazakhstan's prostitutes, cleanest in the region," the medal ceremony was rerun following an outcry from the team. The wizards behind the audio mix-up also managed to fuck up the Serbian anthem, but that failed to yield an equally insulting result. [E!]


Miley Cyrus Really, Really Wants Y'all to Think She’s Engaged

Accused of being "too fat, too pretty and too blonde" to play the lead in The Hunger Games by overzealous fans of the book, Jennifer Lawrence turned their frowns partially upside down with the aid of a good colorist and let her contractually obliged workouts take care of the rest. "I didn't know until the interviewers told me that all the fans were pissed because I was blonde. Then I was like, 'What? Damn, I'll just dye my hair,'" she said. "I had training about three times a day for a few months. Then, once we started working, I had to have the training just for endurance because it was so many hours. I mean, if there's a scene of me running up a mountain, that's what we shot all day – me running up a mountain." [The Sun]
This is 500 shades of amazing even if you're not that much of a fan – get prepared to say goodbye to the next ten minutes with The Hunger Games name generator. [Vulture]
Jennifer and best friend Zoe Kravitz are extremely mature when they get together, cracking up at tits and ass like Beavis and Butthead at art galleries. Does this mean they're also always high? [NYDN]


Miley Cyrus Really, Really Wants Y'all to Think She’s Engaged

It is with great sadness that I tell you The Situation has been banned from showing off his rock-hard abba dabbas in rehab, in accordance with strict rules about clothing and "abdominal exposure" on the inside. Some investigative reporters over at TMZ obtained a list of wardrobe guidelines from his new home, Utah's Cirque Lodge, and were the first to break the tragic news. Ripped jeans, sleeveless tops and clothing with obscene language is also banned, so it looks like he'll now have to splurge on an entire new wardrobe. Axis turned. [TMZ]
Between his rehab stint and Snooki's pregnancy, Jersey Shore producers might start fazing them out in favor of new alcoholics. [TMZ]


Miley Cyrus Really, Really Wants Y'all to Think She’s Engaged

The purity triangle betwixt Tim Tebow, Taylor Swift and Dianna Agron may come to a not-so steamy head in coming weeks after the sport star's reps invited both women to his second annual Tim Tebow Foundation Charity Golf Tournament. Word has it that Tebow is "smitten" with newly single Agron but has been seen on chaste dates with Swift recently, so it could be a showdown. Though, with these respectable folk it'll most likely result in awkward tittering and small talk as opposed to the rampant hair pulling and name calling that certain reality shows have conditioned us to expect. [Page Six]


  • It may completely ruin your happily ever after fantasies – which can exist alongside your sex dreams – but Jon Hamm says he'd make a completely shit father and he and long-term partner Jennifer Westfeldt won't be adding a wee one to their family any time soon. "I'd be a terrible father!" he said "I see my friends who have children and I'm like, 'Dude, how are you even upright, much less here at work at 6 a.m.?'" [US]
  • Bronies will be pleased to know that Tori Spelling will be hosting the My Little Pony! wedding. Because, you know, why not? [Huff Po]
  • Ethan Hawke's parents secretly thought all actors were highly functional drug addicts, bar Clint Eastwood. Though that's perhaps a little hysterical I'd love a real-world percentage. Then compare it to doctors because they really know how to party and subsequently ruin their lives. [Page Six]
  • Eva Longoria is keen to feed our seemingly insatiable appetite for terrible reality shows by developing a new dating one. [Page Six]
  • Some hilarious(ly idiotic) restaurant owner in Georgia has named a blue cheese-covered steak sandwich the "Black and bleu" and dedicated it to Chris Brown and Rihanna. "Chris Brown won't beat you up for eating this unless your name starts with a R and ends with A," he then Tweeted. They say any publicity is good publicity, but you know it's backfired when concerned locals have rallied together and agreed never to eat at your restaurant again. [NYDN]
  • There is talk that Rihanna and Chris Brown will reunite onstage at Australia's Supafest on April 14. It's not in the bag yet but sources say Chris has been confirmed to perform and Rihanna will be in the country for the premiere of Battleship: "It's a definite possibility but it won't be decided until the last minute." Don't worry, if it eventuates I'll be down here shaking my head and tutting my disapproval. [Vulture]
  • Rob Kardashian was handcuffed and almost arrested by police in Miami after harassing a pap over the weekend. May the baby Jesus strike me down for siding with a Kardashian on this one. [TMZ]
  • It turns out that Kim Kardashian is for sure going to press charges on the woman that flour-bombed her. [TMZ]
  • Brian Austin Green is being sued by a freelance photographic stalker after the sometime actor allegedly roughed him up while Megan Fox egged him on. [TMZ]
  • Move over Susan Boyle, there is another great British singer that doesn't look like a young Britney Spears or Justin Bieber. [TMZ]
  • I don't like returning to work after a long weekend, so I can only imagine the Sunday-night jitters that befell January Jones when she had to return to the Mad Men set after having a baby. [People]
  • Glee folk John Stamos, Naya Rivera and Cory Monteith caused a series of hard and wide ons at the GLAAD Awards over the weekend after they started a fevered kiss-off contest. [People]
  • Speaking in support of gay marriage, legalized marijuana and forgiving student loans, Roseanne Barr is playing to win when it comes to her presidential platform. [Radar]
  • Madonna will be shocked to learn her daughter's a real-life human girl and is acting like every second 15-year-old by smoking, according to this article. [Daily Mail]
  • Madonna is trying out an interesting recruitment strategy by asking that Quentin Tarantino direct the video for her single "Gang Bang" for free. [The Sun]