An 18-year-old Minnesota high school senior spent the last several weeks on a quest worthy of its own teen sex comedy: he sent Tweets to hundreds of female porn stars in the hope that one of them would go to prom with him. After two of them said yes, it seemed that his dream of wining and dining two women he'd watched have sex with other dudes was about to come true — but then his school's fun police stepped in and said that his adult film star dates were barred from the high school rite of passage. What an emotional roller coaster ride completely ripe for Judd Apatow treatment.
Mike Stone must have wanted to make his senior prom special. Otherwise he wouldn't have tweeted those porn stars those hundreds of tweets asking if they're booked on May 12th and, if not, if they'd be willing to accompany him to his high school prom. Included: dinner, romance, possibly a personal massage as administered by one Mr. Mike Stone himself after the dance is over. A surprising number responded to him— some politely, others dismissively. Brittany Blaze called him a "MILF sniper" and encouraged him to seek a woman his own age. But finally, one Megan Piper responded that she'd love to go to the Tartan High School senior prom, if he'd pay for air fare to and from his Minneapolis-area hometown.
If this were a teen sex comedy, at this point in the story, things could go one of two ways. Either the porn star(s) is this misunderstood hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold America's Sweetheart type who has dreams of becoming a tap dancing teacher to blind children in Paris or the porn star is a brash, unapologetic wise self-actualized totally sexy but also way-too-much-for-our-protagonist type who takes him under her wing and teaches them the skills he needs to snag the girl of his dreams, as played by someone with blonde hair and a slightly pained-looking smile. Or the porn stars are one of each.
When school officials caught wind of the news, they scrambled to respond. And according to the school superintendant, Megan, who is 19, isn't an acceptable prom date on the grounds that her appearance would be "inconsistant" with two school district policies that dictate that visitors who are "not in the best interest of the school" aren't allowed on school property. After all, prom is a gathering of totally sober, behaving teens that aren't thinking about sex in the least. Adult situations have no place at prom, nor do any references of sex or "grind dancing" or music about grind dancing. According to Mike Stone's Twitter account, school officials have threatened to arrest any porn stars that show up to the Tartan High prom.
Teen sex comedy postulation time again. At this point in the film ("The Setback"), the protagonist and his racially diverse nerd friends will come up with a plan to sneak the porn stars into prom undetected. A wig, perhaps, or, if the porn star is the America's sweetheart type, a makeunder. Montages accompanied by well-chosen and sort of hilarious advice. People don't even recognize her when she's done!
There's been a mini-outpouring of support for Mike Stone's cause. The hashtag #porn4prom has sprung forth from this story that's an odd mixture of creepy and uplifting, and Stone has set up a PayPal account for people who want to make his porny prom dreams come true to donate funds for Megan Piper's $400 LA to MSP round trip plane ticket.
In the movie version of this story, the fundraising effort is successful and the porn stars are able to attend prom. And maybe the buttoned up principal falls in love with one of them or raps or something. And at the end of the film, the protagonist realizes that true love was right in front of him all along in the form of the incongruously pretty girl that hangs out with his nerdy group of friends, or maybe in the form of the made under porn star. I don't know; I'm not a screenwriter.
While I'm against asking celebrities to go on dates using social media on principle (I consider the YouTube prom invite or Twitter proposal a form of public emotional blackmail) I'm definitely not against this being turned into a movie that I will watch on Netflix instant while drunk.