March Madness 2012: The Sex vs. Chocolate War Rages On

A new day has dawned, which means a brand new battle in the war between sex and chocolate is upon us. To bring you up to speed: Last week, the Sex Conference and the Chocolate Conference entered the arena. 16 sexy soldiers and 16 delicious draftees have committed to combat. Each one is going into this valiantly, with head held high, hoping to be declared the best of the best. Soon we will have a winner — and an answer: Is sex is indeed better than chocolate? Or vice-versa?


March Madness 2012: The Sex vs. Chocolate War Rages On

Click here for a printable PDF of the original bracket, or click the image at left to enlarge. Rules of gameplay can be found here.

On Friday, the number 9 seed, Handjob in the Back of the Bus, was up against the number 8 seed, Anal. Shoutout to your wrists, folks: Handjob won, easily rubbing out Anal with 61% of the vote. Anal will have to go home with something between its legs.

In the Chocolate Conference, things got really heated, and the results were close. But number 8, Milkshake, had a meltdown, and the victor was number 9, Ice Cream. A solid win. Guess no one likes their delicious richness watered down. Congrats to the winners!

Today, in the Sex Conference, we've got Cowgirl vs. 69. In this particular competition, Cowgirl refers to penetration with the woman on top; whether she's facing front, doing it reverse, wearing boots and a hat or whooping with joy is irrelevant. Then there's 69. It's not just a number, it's the favorite positions of immature dudes like Bill and Ted. You could argue that it's mutually pleasurable; you could argue that it's awkward and distracting.

Meanwhile, over in the Chocolate Conference, Dark is meeting Pudding in the ring. This match is an interesting one, since Dark is thought of as mature, experienced, luxurious; while Pudding is playful, light-hearted kid's stuff for lunchtime. Slightly bitter versus super sweet.

Who will emerge victorious? it's all up to you. The polls will stay open until 1am EDT. Vote, vote, vote!!!