Charlize Theron Raises Her Glass to Michael Fassbender's Monster Cock

There's always been something so eminently likeable about Charlize Theron. Aside from her considerable talent she just seems like she couldn't give a fuck and freely speaks her mind, as evidenced by her speech upon accepting her Ally for Equality Award from Michael Fassbender at the Human Rights Campaign gala. Before addressing the advocacy work she does on behalf of the LGBTI community, she gushed about her Prometheus co-star's sizeable wang after copping an eyeful of it in Shame. "I have to say that I was truly impressed that you chose to play it big. Most other actors would have gone small, trust me. No, I know because I've worked with them," she said. "Your penis was a revelation. I'm available to work with it any time." [E!]
Charlize also admits that she loves playing the bitch and doesn't see this stopping anytime soon. [US]


Charlize Theron Raises Her Glass to Michael Fassbender's Monster Cock

Rihanna and Katy Perry are known besties but they're about to mix business with pleasure by releasing a duet. "We have been working on this for years. We still are trying to make a song together, Katy Perry and I. She is one of my favorite musicians, as well as one of my favorite people in the industry," said Rihanna. "She's very uncalculated, very sure of herself, and that's something very rare in this industry to find. The song will probably come out in a while. I won't say that it's happening right now, but it's going to happen." [Access Hollywood]


Charlize Theron Raises Her Glass to Michael Fassbender's Monster Cock

As if Chris O'Dowd wasn't already adorable enough, now he's come out in defence of his Friends With Kids co-star Megan Fox over her beef with piece of shit Michael Bay. "I don't know the ins and outs of it but it's all down to having a fallout with Michael Bay. But who wouldn't have a fallout with him?" he says of her post-Transformers career hiccup. "It's one of the [most] sexist things I've ever seen. She called him an asshole. Well, he is a fucking asshole. She's not the only one who's said that. Why has she been singled out? I would never fucking watch his films, never mind go and act in them." [Entertainmentwise]


Last night, Lady Gaga confessed to our lord and savior Oprah that she wants marriage and one of those baby things – or possibly 11 — just not quite yet. "I want kids, I want a soccer team. And I want a husband. Well, I'm being superfluous. I don't want to have one kid. I want to have a few," she said. "I want to experience that, but not yet." [NYDN, The Life Files]


Charlize Theron Raises Her Glass to Michael Fassbender's Monster Cock

Kris Jenner has really outdone herself this time. While most moms are happy to embarrass their children by showing baby snaps during their birthday celebrations, she took it to a whole new level by posting a naked shot of herself taken when she was pregnant with her son Robert on her blog. "Happy 25th birthday to my wonderful, handsome son, Rob!!" she wrote. "Rob, you are the best son a mother could ask for and you make me proud every day. I love you so much!!" Keep on truckin'! [US]


Charlize Theron Raises Her Glass to Michael Fassbender's Monster Cock

Jon Hamm isn't the only public figure to be talking trash about Kim Kardashian — with Jason Statham bringing her up in a conversation about how celebrities becoming brands. "Fuck no, why should I?" he said in response to whether he saw himself as one. "Fuck 'em. Kim Kardashian's a brand." Sidebar: this story is so high up on today's Dirt Bag mainly for the picture. Who doesn't want to see his wondrous mug first thing on a Monday morning? Damn Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and her model ways! [Page Six]


  • It certainly pays to be Beyoncé with her manager/husband – borderline creepy, non? – haggling for a $150 million post-birth tour. I guess it pays to keep the commission in the family. [Page Six]
  • Jared Leto adds to the myth of obsessive veganism by refusing to get a picture taken in front of a Korean BBQ truck at SXSW. [Page Six]
  • Being George Clooney's girlfriend is clearly paying dividends for Stacy Keibler now she's in talks to become the next judge on The X Factor. [Page Six]
  • It's normal for models to be discovered on the sidewalk because, well, their face is their thing. But a talent scout somehow decided Jennifer Lawrence had considerable acting talent from a mere glance in Union Square. [NYDN]
  • She's been gestating for what seems like forever but it seems that the wait is almost up for Jessica Simpson now she's had her baby shower. [E!]
  • Nicki Minaj, Jay-Z and every rapper you've ever known is now under the Illuminati spotlight. [E!]
  • Jake Gyllenhaal and co. ride the subway. Stars are just like us! [People]
  • Christina Applegate's kid, Sadie Grace, is growing up to be a finicky little thing and making her mom work double-time when it comes to amusing faces and whatnot. [People]
  • After dealing with yet another round of legal woe last week, Lindsay Lohan is putting herself on house arrest once the sun goes down until her probation is up in two weeks. [TMZ]
  • Gwyneth Paltrow calls bullshit on the The New York Times' claims that she hired a ghost writer for her cookbook. [Ministry Of Gossip]
  • Kate Moss and Ab Fab? Why is this only happening now? [Mirror]
  • Did anyone catch Fiona Apple's SXSW gig? By all accounts it was pretty amazing. [Vulture]