There's a new solution for parents worried about traveling with small, truculent children: have some internet stranger else deal with them.
A new aeronautical babysitting service called Nanny in the Clouds will watch the children of overwrought parents who want to pretend that the screaming infant on their flight doesn't belong to them, which service would be pretty convenient (especially the parents of a shitty kid that screams for like no reason) but for one small caveat: the cloud nannies aren't screened.
At least not by Nanny in the Clouds, whose libertarian policy for child safety seems to be that if parents really want to make sure their kid isn't bad-touched during a transatlantic flight, they should take the time to screen potential lap-providers themselves. The thing is, the company doesn't provide sitters, it merely connects parents with childcare pseudo-professionals who've submitted a few acceptable references. Lucky families might end up with an adorable Mary Anne Spier, a model of Up-in-the-Air efficiency who demurely scoots her penny loafers and Kid Kit through security checkpoints and, once on board, calms even the foulest-tempered Jenny Prezzioso from JFK to Heathrow. As for the not-so-lucky? They might get matched with those bad-talkin', idea-stealin' opportunists at the Baby-Sitters Agency, lighting up in the bathroom and buying duty-free booze for their shiftless boyfriends.
While not as convenient as calling Claudia Kishi's private line, parents can register with the company for free, but must pay a $10 surcharge for connecting with a nanny who just so happens to be traveling on the same flight. From there, parents and nannies work out the rest of the details, including and hourly fee, meeting place, and duration of the gig, which can go from airport check-in to forever if the parents forewent the added expense of a background check.
So, if you plan on taking your kids on a trip, forget the hassle of air travel — just hire four or five regular baby-sitters, pile them, your kids, and some of the neighbors' kids into several station wagons, and hit the road. Sea City here we come! Just keep Stacey away from the lifeguards.
Flying with kids? Hire an in-flight nanny [Fox News]
Image via Inara Prusakova/Shutterstock.