Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Is Single AgainS

After months of dating and a slideshow's worth of intimate, ruffle-haired car rides, Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes have decided to spend some time apart. Or rather Ryan decided, and apparently hopped right on a plane to South Africa where he dined with a German model. Has Ryan Gosling suddenly become James Bond? What's with all this exotic jet-setting? He should come back and spend time with us, his adoring fans, forever and ever... Thus concludes (for now, anyway) the Gosling's latest romance and we'll all eagerly await news of the next lady he asks to go steady. I hope it's Marisa Tomei because I watched the end of My Cousin Vinny last night and she's adorable in it. [Mirror]

  • You know who's not breaking up? Halle Berry and Oliver Martinez, who are now officially engaged because Martinez has finally given Berry a ring and as we all know, without a ring, it is impossible to recite the magical engagement incantation that makes it legit. As for the ring, it was designed by Robert Mazio, a jeweler who Martinez claims has been designing jewelry for "kings and queens for many centuries." Oooo, fancy! [E!]
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger's son Patrick Schwarzenegger has literally injured his ass skiing in Idaho. The budding narcissist tweeted a picture of an ugly gash right next to his butt crack, but I don't recommend looking at it because it's gross. [CBS]
  • In more father-son news, Michael Madsen, who was arrested Friday in Malibu for suspicion of child cruelty, allegedly resorted to fisticuffs with his son because he caught the young man smoking pot. We know this because Madsen's attorney has issued the following statement: "[Michael] found his son smoking pot and they got in an argument when he tried to take it away." [Ministry]
  • Even though he made money off of their marriage and Kim Kardashian made him sign an ironclad prenup, Kris Humphries is demanding $7 million from his ex-wife unless she wants to endure a trial. [TMZ]
  • On Thursday, Khloé Kardashian (maybe not, after all, of the Robert Kardashian Kardashians) called Scott Disick a homo on her radio show for carrying a man bag, but Scooter surprisingly proved to be the mature adult in this situation when he responded, "First of all you shouldn't say homo on the radio. It's not a bad thing to be a homosexual. You're making it sound like a negative thing." [Hollywood Life]
  • Bobbi Kristina Brown may henceforth be known simply as "Kristina Brown" if she gets that name-change she's angling for to put her that much further away from her dad, Bobby Brown. [TMZ]
  • Madonna fucked herself up during rehearsals for her 2012 world tour and naturally posted the pictures on Facebook. [NDNY]
  • Olivia Munn responded to the release of her alleged nude cellphone pictures by writing a facetious letter to her fans, in which she confirms that the most naked of those pictures couldn't possibly have been of her: "Some of those pictures weren't even me. I mean, you can't even see my penis…" [HuffPo]
  • Kristen Stewart is topless in the new On the Road trailer, which means that she tosses a coquettish glance over her bare shoulder and we're all supposed to assume that, ipso facto, nudity. I don't know about this career move — I think she should have held out for the Naked Lunch remake. [E!]
  • James T. Ellis, the Tramps singer whose hits included "Disco Inferno," died Thursday at 74. [HuffPo]
  • Courtney Stodden wants you to be able to keep up with her alliterative exploits all the time, which is why she launched her website. Visit it at your own peril. [ONTD]
  • Looks like we won't have to start the Save Sean Young Fund (it would have been a racket anyway) — the actress will not face any charges for slapping an Oscar security guard in the face. [TMZ]
  • Robin Gibb has sadly suggested that perhaps his bout with cancer is some sort of karmic punishment for all his success with the Bee Gees, which doesn't really make sense because music makes people feel good. Is Robin Gibb, in the indirect way of a person who's lived with a guilty conscious for far too long, trying to tell us that he killed someone? These are serious things to consider, people. [The Sun]
  • Truculent chef Gordon Ramsay is suing an ex-publicist for releasing photos of the kitchen autocrat standing triumphantly over a dead shark. [Mirror]
  • Gasp! Is Teen Mom Jenelle Evans using drugs again? I don't know, probably. [Radar]
  • A big congratulations to Big Bang Theory thespian Kunal Nayyar, who finally completed his marriage to Neha Kapur in New Delhi after 6 whole days. [People]