Noted Derelict Randall Terry Thinks He Beat the President in Oklahoma

Last night, while everyone had Santorum on their lips, another zealot was quietly throwing his own non-victory victory jamboree. Uterusless anti-abortion nut Randall Terry of Operation Rescue, who is running for President as a Democrat, actually defeated President Obama in several counties in Oklahoma, and he got a big enough slice of the vote that he might have earned himself a delegate at the Democratic National Convention. But from the way he tells it, you'd swear he'd won the whole damn election.

Terry ended up netting 18% of the votes in the state's Democratic primary, which means that under party rules, he may be eligible for a delegate at this summer's Democratic National Convention. And if Terry has won a delegate, it means that the President's nomination for re-election wasn't technically unanimous. Of his not-total loss, Terry said,

We have carried 12 counties over a sitting president. If I get 15% I will get delegates to the Democratic convention. I beat a sitting president over the cause of the babies! Barack Obama's promotion of the murder of children will cost him the White House in 2012.

Ah, yes. Who could forget Barack Obama's ill-advised first act as President, which was an executive order that all firstborn sons be executed in accordance with prophesy. Surprisingly, Terry did not follow that proclamation by laughing maniacally for 10 minutes while reporters on the call sat in uncomfortable silence.

That Barack Obama received only 57% of the vote in the Oklahoma Democratic primary may be worrisome from the outside, but let's consider some context here. Oklahoma is not a state that the President was planning on winning in the general election; in fact, the state's so red that it would have been blacklisted in the 1950's. Sooners haven't given their electoral votes to a Democrat since 1964, and for the last two elections, 66% of the electorate has chosen the Republican candidate. Further, many Oklahomans are currently miffed at the President for rejecting the Keystone XL pipeline, a project that would have made a select number of Oklahomans very rich. And turnout, as could be expected for a Democratic primary when the President is already a Democrat, was low.

The Oklahoma state Democratic party is reviewing their guidelines for awarding Terry the delegate his grotesque bloody fetus ads netted him.

And Oklahoma has just earned itself a place in the finals of the Miss Awful USA pageant alongside Florida, Arizona, and Mississippi.

Poor Oklahoma showing could cost Obama a delegate [Yahoo]