Conservative Sluts Have It Sooo Much Worse Than Liberal Sluts, Says Conservative Non-SlutS

Get out the world's tiniest violin — Michelle Malkin thinks the Rush Limbaugh/Sandra Fluke "slut" debacle overshadows the real issue: conservative slut-shaming by "the progressive left."

In a new op-ed, Malkin says she's only sorry Limbaugh called Fluke a slut because "she's really just another professional femme-a-gogue helping to manufacture a false narrative about the GOP 'war on women.'" Hmm, I thought Fluke's primary goal was to make sure birth control and other contraceptives are completely covered by the new federal healthcare mandate. My bad, I must have missed the "conservative bitches suck" section of her testimony!

"The civility police now have an opening to demonize the entire right based on one radio comment," Malkin complains, making the excellent point that conservatives are usually incredibly respectful of women. It's hard for me to refute this statement with anything more eloquent than, "Is this opposite day?!" so instead I'll link to Alternet's list of "11 Dumbest Things Conservatives Have Said About Women," — which includes recent favorites like "Women in the military should 'expect' to be raped" and "Women already consented to be penetrated when they got pregnant." All the quotes in the piece are from February 2012, by the way. In Malkin's defense, it was a leap year — Republicans had a whole extra day to say ridiculous shit about women's bodies!

But, I digress: Malkin's op-ed is about the names she and her conservative sisters have been called, not about women in general. "If I had a dollar for every time libs have called me a "Manila whore" and "Subic Bay bar girl," I'd be able to pay for a ticket to a Hollywood-for-Obama fundraiser," Malkin writes, adding that it's not just "fringe" liberals who attack GOP women. And she has some legitimate examples to share:

It was Matt Taibbi, now of Rolling Stone magazine, who mocked my early championing of the tea party movement by jibing: "Now when I read her stuff, I imagine her narrating her text, book-on-tape style, with a big, hairy set of (redacted) in her mouth. It vastly improves her prose."

It was Keith Olbermann, then at MSNBC and now at Al Gore's Current TV, who wrote on Twitter that columnist S.E. Cupp was "a perfect demonstration of the necessity of the work Planned Parenthood does" and who called me a "mashed up bag of meat with lipstick on it." He stands by those remarks. Olbermann has been a special guest at the White House...

Or when MSNBC misogynist Ed Schultz called talk show host Laura Ingraham a "talk slut" for criticizing Obama's petty beer summit. Or when Playboy published a list of the top 10 conservative women who deserved to be "hate-f**ked." The article, which was promoted by Anne Schroeder Mullins at Politico.com, included Ingraham, "The View's" Elisabeth Hasselbeck, former Bush spokeswoman Dana Perino, GOP Rep. Michele Bachmann and others. Yours truly topped the list with the following description: a "highly f**kable Filipina" and "a regular on Fox News, where her tight body and get-off-my-lawn stare just scream, ‘Do me!'"

And then there's the left's war on Sarah Palin, which would require an entire national forest of trees to publish.

I'm sorry Malkin's been called some truly nasty names throughout her career — not just in the fake way she's "sorry" for Fluke, but because no one deserves to have racial and sexist slurs lobbied at them. But she isn't even arguing that both sides need to stop racist name-calling and slut-shaming, or that conservative leaders need to speak out more often when it happens (On the contrary, she calls Obama a coddling "concern troll" for supporting Sandra Fluke), just that Limbaugh's one teeny inconsequential comment overshadows the injustices she's experienced. "Acknowledging the war on conservative women would obliterate The Narrative," she concludes.

I wish more conservative leaders would follow Obama's "concern troll" example and speak out when GOP women are unfairly attacked. But, to be fair, they're pretty busy working out ways to strip all women of control over their reproductive choices and other essential rights. That's the main disconnect between Malkin's argument and reality: not one of her anecdotes relates to an actual piece of legislation, whereas most of the horrible shit conservatives say about women takes place in Congress, not just on Fox TV. In the real world, too many politicians are waging war against all women, regardless of their political beliefs. And that's not good for the left or the right.

The War on Conservative Women [Right Wing News]