Cupcake ATM Is the Future of DessertS

The visionary, groundbreaking cupcake ATM outside Sprinkles in Beverly Hills has streamlined the cupcake acquiring process. Now, customers don't have to deal with eyebrow-raising employees when they start eating their dozen red velvet cupcakes that were for a "birthday" on the way out the door — they can simply stride confidently up to the machine and let its senseless, nonjudgmental face process their order. Despite Japan's proclivity for all manner of vending machines, Sprinkles' ATM is, according to CBS, "the first of its kind in the world," dispensing cupcakes 24/7 even as it devours American confection jobs. If a cupcake ATM sounds good to you, I'm sure it won't be long until the trend spreads to all 50 states, but by then cupcake ATMs will be so over — baby sloth ATMs will be the next big innovation.