Lady Bonobos Totally Kiss and Tell

Okay, they do more than kiss. When female bonobos are banging other female bonobos, they really want everyone to know.

The BBC reports on a new study published in Scientific Reports, showing that the female chimps, who frequently have sex with other females, are not bashful at all. In fact, they're kind of a cross between the nerdy guy who totally wants everyone to know he made out with a cheerleader, and the wannabe mean girl who's always cozying up to the queen bee. The study found that lower-ranking lady bonobos were especially psyched to have sex with higher-ranking members of their group — and they made loud, excited chimp-sex-noises to let everyone know. They were especially vocal if the alpha female was around — apparently they want her to know when they're getting it on with someone impressive. Says study author Zanna Clay, "As a low-ranked female, advertising [a] social-sexual bonding with another dominant group member may serve to strengthen their social position, and signal this to the alpha."

Clay also offers this somewhat hilarious precis of her findings: "Using vocalisations, females only advertise sexual contacts with important group members. It's all about climbing up the social ladder for female bonobos." Chicks, man. All they care about is status. Why can't they just love me for me?

Female bonobos 'advertise' homosexual bonds [BBC]