Concerned Female Reporter Can't Help But Notice Female Reporters Are Looking Awful Slutty Nowadays

With everything from birth control to equal pay under assault, it's never been more important that we, as women, tackle the issues that really matter to women today. Namely: are female politics reporters looking extra skanky nowadays, or what? How can we stop them before they rub their barely-hidden vaginas all over the news and make it smell all musky?

Fishbowl DC takes on the hard issues and more with their in-depth piece, entitled (seriously) Females On Campaign Trail Go For Sexpot Look. Basically, the problem is this — and they swear, honey, that they're not trying to put you down in any way and they're only saying this because they care about you so much and are just trying to be a good friend and, like, they want other people to see how amazing you are — young, female reporters like The Times' Ashley Parker and The Hill's Amie Parnes are parading around on the internet in dresses that show off their shoulders and are putting pictures on Twitter wherein they look kind of pretty and, well, Fishbowl didn't say this, but other people have been saying this, it makes them look like, well, a piping hot pot of sex. And maybe if female reporters want people to respect them and stuff, they should stop looking like such sluts.

Concerned, first and foremost, and not in a judgmental way at all, with the well being of these weapons-grade whores and their slutcareers, Fishbowl asked a marketing expert about what sort of damage their glistening, heaving breasts are doing to their images as serious reporters. The marketing expert said that the pictures used on Twitter weren't damaging per se, but that it was important for young reporters to remember that their user picture on social networking sites should reflect their "brand." (Which is why I'm totally not wearing pants in my Twitter picture.) So, according to the expert, their pictures weren't slutty at all.

Undaunted by the fact that the theory that maybe other people might think these women were looking a little round in the heel (if you get my geriatric drift) was debunked by the marketing expert, Fishbowl presented, for its readers, examples of just how unprofessional and strippery young female reporters have gotten. Why aren't they dressed like Madeleine Albright? Where are the Chanel jackets and prim poses? Did none of these women debut at a respectable deb ball?!

Not even Gawker's resident skank Maureen O'Connor was immune to the slutzkreig. She tweeted a sarcastic comment at FishbowlDC's account after they posted the story only to have whoever is running their feed basically call her another perfect example of the kind of harlot that's ruining the media. I'm not sure how it ended but now I think they have to fight to the death in a mudpit or something. And all over women who dare write while not looking hideous.

So let this be a warning to you, ladies: If you're going to write things and expect people to listen to you, you better do it from inside a paper bag or turtleneck. Or else no one will take you seriously. No offense.

Females on campaign trail go for sexpot look [FishbowlDC]

Image via Carlo Depino/Shutterstock