With states governments from coast to coast working tirelessly to make sure no woman has sex for pleasure without suffering the consequences of blessed, precious motherhood, it may be tempting to believe that if you have a uterus, the entire country has become hostile territory. Well, we've got good news and bad news: The good news is that wherever you are, things could probably be much worse for your ladyparts. Unless, that is, you live in one of the ten scariest places to have ladyparts. The bad news is that these ten places exist.
In order to come up with this list of Down There Horrorscapes, we took a look at several factors, relying heavily on services a woman might need in a worst case scenario. We compared laws restricting access to abortion, including waiting periods, parental consent laws, and bans on late term procedures. A few states have trigger laws on the books that would immediately outlaw abortion in all cases except to save the mother's life in the event that Roe is ever overturned. We looked at laws that allow doctors and pharmacists to refuse to provide care or fill prescriptions for abortifacients, emergency contraception, or birth control, even in cases of medical emergency. We examined factors that would endanger pregnancy or adoption prospects as well — maternal mortality rates, inaccessibility of hospitals or , as well as regions with especially overloaded foster care systems that may make the idea of giving a child up for adoption seem less rosy. Domestic violence and spousal homicide rates were considered. And, of course, it wouldn't be a list of places that are unfriendly to ladies if we didn't include rape statistics. Points were assigned to each scary statistic, totals were compiled, and here's what we found.
It was hard to pick one city in Texas to represent the state in the Miss Crappy America pageant, because when you're a lady in the Lone Star State, it's not difficult to feel lost and alone. Earlier this year, Governor Rick Perry (who really should go by "Dick," because it's much more fitting) threatened the entire Texas Women's Health Program by refusing to comply with the federal requirement that the state stop excluding Planned Parenthood from funding. And! Texas has enacted some of the scariest, most restrictive abortion laws in the land, which affect women in all parts of the state. But Kingsville stood out for a few reasons. Located in Southern Texas an hour or so from Corpus Christi is Kingsville, a city of about 25,000 people. Women who live here are about three times more likely to get raped than women who live elsewhere, and once the US Army conducted an exercise here that involved live ammunition. In 2008, it's estimated that more than a million women were beaten by their partners in the state of Texas. A woman seeking an abortion in Kingsville will have to drive about an hour in order to get to a clinic in Corpus Christi, and once she gets there, she'll be required, by law, to either listen to the sound of the fetal heartbeat and watch an ultrasound or listen to a description of the ultrasound by the sonogram technician. She then must listen to a speil from the doctor that explains that there's a link between abortion and breast cancer (there's no stronger a link between abortion and breast cancer than their is a link between never having babies and breast cancer), that fetuses can feel pain, and that women who have abortions are emotionally scarred. Then she gets to wait 24 hours, drive back to the clinic (since a woman in Kingsville lives under 100 miles from the clinic, she'd be required to wait an entire day) for the procedure. If an underage Kingsville woman becomes pregnant, she needs to both notify her parents and receive consent from them, and the consent form must be notarized. She can bypass this if there's a medical emergency, but not if she's a rape, incest, or abuse victim. Don't uterus with Texas.
The state's Republican-controlled legislature sure is great at enacting laws that they claim are in the interest of their "pro life" ideals. A law barring women who live far from abortion providers from getting prescriptions for RU-486 was signed into law earlier this month, and laws already exist requiring minors receive parental consent before terminating their own pregnancies.
With so much pro-life dick swinging going on in the halls of Tennessee government, you'd think that they'd be interested in helping babies after they were born, too. Nope!
Shelby County, Tennessee is a great place to go if you're interested in being in a place where a lot of babies die. With an infant mortality rate of 12.8 per 1,000 live births, the area encompassing downtown Memphis has an infant mortality rate almost 50% higher than the rest of the state, which itself has an infant mortality higher than every other state in the country. It's even worse for black women — babies born to black women have an infant mortality rate of 17.8 per 1,000 live births — a statistic that's nothing short of a shameful reflection of the heartless hypocrisy of a "pro life" state.
Portions of Napoleon Dynamite were filmed here, but there's nothing to dance about if you're a set of fallopian tubes with the misfortune of finding yourself in Pocatello, Idaho.
Idaho's the state that's home of Chuck Winder, the politician who suggested that women would use rape as an excuse to have abortions. And Pocatello is the home of Jennie Linn McCormack, a woman who was charged with a crime after self-inducing her own abortion using RU-486 her sister purchased over the internet only to discover that her pregnancy was further along than she thought. The closest abortion provider to Pocatello is located in Salt Lake City, Utah, which is nearly 3 hours away by car. Laws in Idaho are strict, but even stricter is a culture dominated by a brand of Mormonism that condemns women who choose anything but motherhood.