Nobody Wore a Freaking Bra to the Vanity Fair Party

Last night, Vanity Fair teamed up with Juicy Couture for the 20th Anniversary of Vanities, at which most gals free-balled it with their tits.

Nobody Wore a Freaking Bra to the Vanity Fair Party

OK, so obvs Emmy Rossum is wearing heart-shaped pasties, but what has me confused is whether or not she actually intended for us to see them.

Nobody Wore a Freaking Bra to the Vanity Fair Party

Tits ahoy: Jessica Chastain, Dania Ramirez, and Teresa Palmer.

Nobody Wore a Freaking Bra to the Vanity Fair Party

I don't know if it's the makeup or the 'tude but Jenna Malone managed to look goth in a white cocktail dress and I love it.

Nobody Wore a Freaking Bra to the Vanity Fair Party

The Descendants costars Mary Birdsong and Shailene Woodley paired plunging necklines with pants, while Stacy Keibler covered up.

Nobody Wore a Freaking Bra to the Vanity Fair Party

Malin Ackerman's tramp stamp is just below her neck.

Nobody Wore a Freaking Bra to the Vanity Fair Party

As far as I'm concerned a leather jacket always makes anything you wear look about 30% cooler as demonstrated here by Paula Patton and Ari Graynor. However, Cole de Pablo would probably benefit from unzipping hers. Note: You should only really zip up a leather jacket if you're on a motorcycle.

Nobody Wore a Freaking Bra to the Vanity Fair Party

Amy Adams, Alice Eve, and Kate Mara all work an LBD.

Nobody Wore a Freaking Bra to the Vanity Fair Party

Anna Kendrick looked sweet in her naked sparkles. I know that I should probably think that Hayden Panera Bread's ketchup and mustard look is gross but I can't help but love it because she comes across as an old time-y vampire's girlfriend with those sleeves. Quinn Morgendorffer (Daria's sister) once said in Fashion Club that chunky shoes make your legs look cuter, which might be what Rashida Jones is going for.

Nobody Wore a Freaking Bra to the Vanity Fair Party

Maggie Grace's dress starts out interesting up top but quickly unravels into a metallic mess the further south you look. Talk about not dressing your age: Is Mary Elizabeth Winstead going for perimenopausal? And who knows what the fuck is going on with Tracee Elliis Ross? Is that a long skirt with a short dress with leggings with boots?

Nobody Wore a Freaking Bra to the Vanity Fair Party

Marcia Gay Harden's dress is weird in that from afar it looks like a really unflattering silhouette, but then you notice her boobs. While I respect Olivia Munn for not playing to her hotness all the time, this dress is kinda dumpy. And then there's Jess Weixler, who—right before she left her house—remembered that she's famous for her vagina and decided to cut out some of the fabric hiding it.