Beyoncé and Jay Don't Want Their Filthy Friends Touching Blue Ivy

It would appear that Beyoncé and Jay-Z finally got round to watching their dear pal Gywneth Paltrow's star turn as a corpse in Contagion, because now they're asking anyone who comes in contact with their precious Blue Ivy™ to wear surgical masks and gloves. They're clearly shit out of luck if the wee one actually has a latex allergy. Now, clearly this news-o-tainment should be taken with several large grains of salt – which then need to be crushed, cooked up in a teaspoon and injected directly into your bloodstream – but let's roll with it. Those truth-tellers over at the National Enquirer had this to say about this new strain of epic helicopter parenting: "Taking NO chances with their beautiful, newborn baby girl Blue Ivy, ultra-protective parents Jay-Z and Beyoncé are obsessively determined to keep their infant germ-free - so before family or pals are allowed to hold their precious prize, they must first don surgical masks and gloves." [Celebslam]


Beyoncé and Jay Don't Want Their Filthy Friends Touching Blue Ivy

Though he gets a large chunk of the population tingling in their magic area, Ryan Gosling said he needed to read books when it came to learning how to score with the opposite sex – specifically lads mags and preying-on-women-with-low-self-esteem bible, The Game. But before your brain short circuits, it was for his role as serial creeper in Crazy, Stupid, Love. "I just tried to follow all the rules that men's magazines give you, like all the ways you're supposed to dress, all the exercises you're supposed to do, and all the things you're supposed to say. Just follow the letter of the law," he said. "I read that book, The Game. I like to call it The Lame. Or that TV show, The Pick Up Artist. I watched that. I don't know whether seduction can be taught or not. But these gentlemen seem to think that they have something to say, and they have devotees." I think the word "gentlemen" is a bit of a stretch in this instance. [The Sun]


Beyoncé and Jay Don't Want Their Filthy Friends Touching Blue Ivy

Hearing the mega-wealthy complain about being tired never really goes down well, but maybe we should cut Victoria Beckham a break when she defends herself against people who say she looks like a miserable cow. "Look, if people want to say I'm miserable then so be it. I'm really not. I have a lot on my plate. I'm not going to lie about it, I'm tired. I'm really tired but I'm also very happy with my life," she said. "I'm not getting much sleep at all. Harper's not sleeping that great, and I've been taking Skype business calls throughout the night, too, because of the collections. I'm up with the baby as all mums are, and I wouldn't have it any other way. There's not a team of people doing it for me." [US]


Beyoncé and Jay Don't Want Their Filthy Friends Touching Blue Ivy

It may not be true but let's pretend for a minute that all celebrity gossip is right all the time: Usher has officially joined the ranks of the ridiculous by pulling an entitled asshole move while eating at Cleo in Hollywood. People say he decided to act like a spoilt 10-year-old by wearing sunglasses inside at 10pm and being nothing short of a painful prick for staff. "Apparently the staff was not allowed to speak to him directly," said someone. "All interaction had to happen through one of his staffers." Though, to be fair, if I was famous I'd try this once just to see if I could get away with it – before revealing that I was just fucking around and leaving a generous tip. [Page Six]


Beyoncé and Jay Don't Want Their Filthy Friends Touching Blue Ivy

Violence is never the answer – unless of course it's an official sporting pastime betwixt two willing participants. With this in mind, some aspiring fighter is challenging "nonprofessional intergender boxer" Chris Brown to a duel to "prove beyond any shadow of a doubt that he is a spoiled child who refuses to make amends for his mistakes, and to see people who worship or even accept him reconsider their opinion and ask why we glorify people like CB." The glove has been thrown and this guy demands satisfaction! [Hypervocal]
And that guy's not the only one picking a fight, with WWE's CM Punk requesting a male-only duel – with Chris hitting back that Punk has a small, 'roidy dick. [TMZ]
We know they're making music together and are friends again, but Chris Brown still managed to cause a stir by wishing Rihanna happy birthday on Twitter. [NYDN]


Beyoncé and Jay Don't Want Their Filthy Friends Touching Blue Ivy

Broadcasting Whitney Houston's funeral was always going to be a touchy subject. Some say it should have been a private family matter, others that she was a public figure and it was a celebration of her life. When it comes to her family's thoughts one thing is now clear, they did it to raise some money for Bobbi Kristina. Thoughts? [TMZ]
And she's going to need that money if she's to abide by her father Bobby's wishes and check into rehab. [Radar]
Here is some footage of Whitney dancing at Madonna's Super Bowl halftime show. Which is kind of sad now. [TMZ]
Chris Cornell is one of a number of musicians who have played tribute to the icon. [NYDN]
David Gest says that Whitney wanted to marry Michael Jackson and would probably still be alive if she'd gotten her way. What a classy, well-timed thing to say. [Contact Music]


  • If you're going to bring your own food to restaurants à la Alex Rodriguez why bother going at all? [Page Six]
  • More on the diet front, Kim and Khloe Kardashian are under fire for pimping out diet supplements that are choc-full of caffeine. [Page Six]
  • Robin Thicke keeps on keeping on after he got busted for weed by partying it up in Vegas. [Page Six]
  • Attention aspiring kept boys: David Geffen is single once more. I repeat, David Geffen is back on the market. [Page Six]
  • She's weathered a storm of hate but Lana Del Rey is still very fashionable among the sartorial set and played at the Mulberry after party. [Page Six]
  • He's spoken about this before but for those who aren't aware and feel a need to be on top of all things gossip David Cross once did some blow in the same room as Obama. [NYDN]
  • Real estate porn: the Kyra Sedgewick and Kevin Bacon edition. [US]
  • Deadliest Catch's Elliott Neese has been accused of engaging in "textual harassment" by his ex – which sounds like an adorable pun but really isn't. [TMZ]
  • Some people aren't into her, and I can understand, but Bethenny Frankel's frankness wins me over every time. Like when speaking about the fact she and husband Jason Hoppy aren't fucking: "It's cliché but you're so much less concerned with romantic bubble baths and lingerie with your husband because your kid just took a shit on the floor." [Radar]
  • What happened to Jessica Simpson when she tried to use her pregnancy to cut in line at a Mexican joint: denied! Though it was a nice try. [Radar]
  • Before you fly into a murderous rage because someone said that the second season of Downton Abbey sucked, know that they said it doesn't matter and downgrade to maim. [Vulture]
  • Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber have a baby – babies having babies! — for the day. [The Sun]
  • Now's he's divorced Katy Perry, Russell Brand is free to fulfil all of his sexual desires — which include a romp with Prince Charles, apparently. [Mirror]
  • "Icon of femininity" Christina Hendricks reveals she was a goth in high school and so hated that people used to spit on her. [Mirror]