Let's All Scrutinize Jennifer Aniston's Stomach and Jump to Conclusions

At the Wanderlust premiere, her first red carpet event in a month, Jennifer Aniston—amidst tabloid reports that she's pregnant—decided to wear a dress that essentially had parentheses around her uterus.

Let's All Scrutinize Jennifer Aniston's Stomach and Jump to Conclusions

It's like she's trolling us, wearing an optical illusion that would make virtually anyone look a little pregnant. I kind of love her for it.

Let's All Scrutinize Jennifer Aniston's Stomach and Jump to Conclusions

What happened here? Spray tan and groomed eyebrows? When's his next shift at the Shore Store?

Let's All Scrutinize Jennifer Aniston's Stomach and Jump to Conclusions

It's crazy that Richard Grieco was out on a school night. I mean, he probably had to get up so early the next day so he could murder all of his classmates with a shotgun.

Let's All Scrutinize Jennifer Aniston's Stomach and Jump to Conclusions

The fact that Malin Ackerman wore this ill-fitting red and pink dress just two days after Valentine's Day makes the whole thing seem so much cheesier.

Let's All Scrutinize Jennifer Aniston's Stomach and Jump to Conclusions

Lake Bell as Emily the Strange.

Let's All Scrutinize Jennifer Aniston's Stomach and Jump to Conclusions

This was the only photo available of Leslie Mann, which is a shame because her '60s-era mini dress was super cute and the best of the evening.

Let's All Scrutinize Jennifer Aniston's Stomach and Jump to Conclusions

Despite the fact that Kathryn Hahn (center) and Arden Myrin (right) look like they're going to two different events, they both look very put together—unlike Kerri Silver's (left) labia, which are separated by her pants. Holy motherfucking camel toe.