Ridiculous School Bans Slang in Campaign to Incite Mockery

In a surely ill-fated bid to make kids more well-spoken, a school in Sheffield, England has banned slang. Says the school's deputy chief,

What we want to make sure of is that they are confident in using standard English. Slang doesn't really give the right impression of the person. Youngsters going to interviews for their first job need to make a good impression so that employers have confidence in them. It's not difficult to get youngster out of the habit of using slang.

O rly? Well in order to ban slang, you probably have to know what it is — and since the examples the school gave are "hiya" and "cheers," they may not be up on the latest lingo. My guess is that kids are just going to redefine standard English words like "refrigerate" to mean disgusting things, and then laugh a lot at their teachers' expense.

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