This needs no introduction, but here's a short one: My mom has been watching The Bachelor, and has a lot of feelings about the show. She called last night, and I decided to record it. This is what she said.
They're in Belize now, and the first date he had was with Lindzi. He and Lindzi jump out of the helicopter and swim in the Blue Hole, right off the coast of Belize. Which is exciting. I think the best part of the show happens to be the dates they go on, you know? He's outdoorsy. He knows how to do everything! He swims well, he drives boats, he can do almost anything and he's not frightened of anything. He's an outdoorsy type, without being boring or Western (said with distaste). (Me: What do you mean, Western?) You know, like George Bush. Like a cowboy. He's the type of guy, if I were young, I would want to be with. But I really could see your sister with him, because he tries everything, and he's just, crazy, sort of. He likes spontaneity and he likes the outdoors and he loves to be adventuresome. And he tries everything! Crazy things! I really like the fact that he and this girl climbed the bridge in San Francisco. It was just amazing. The other shows that I have seen before were just humdrum. Not that this isn't a vapid series, though. It is vapid. If it were not for Courtney, I probably would have turned it off.
Anyway. On the second date, he goes out with… Emily. I think. And they go biking and lobster-catching. They actually go out into the water and catch the lobsters and later they have them for dinner and go dancing and everything. He's very down-to earth.
The next date was a group date with Rachel, Kacie B. and Nicki. Kacie B. I liked, until she started talking about Courtney, because I thought she was one of the cutest ones there. And they swam with the sharks. And that was sort of cool. And he spoke to all three of them, and Kacie B. was the only one who got a rose. But that didn't mean that the others were eliminated.
Then, the next date was with Courtney. And they all hate Courtney because basically she told them, "If he doesn't really want you, that doesn't mean he's the only man out there for you!" I thought she was telling the truth. And she told him that she didn't know whether she wanted to take him home to her parents, if he wasn't feeling it. And I think he did everything to convince her that he was feeling it. He kept asking her, throughout the season, why do the other girls hate her, and she said initially, she tried to make friends, and she has female friends, and she says, they hate her because they're just catty women. She said basically, she wasn't there to make friends. And this show would go off the air if there was no Courtney. I mean, they are the most vapid women I have ever seen. I think this is the first time they haven't had any women who were well-educated. Usually they have a dentist, or a nurse, or something at the end. But these are all… not career people. The only person you could even say has a job that is sort of exciting is Courtney, and I didn't even realize she was a model until I saw it in Midweek Madness. Anyway, Courtney did get a rose and Emily went home and I was glad. But they all met with her — Rachel and Emily and Kacie B. Rachel didn't really say anything about her, she was the only one who really got along with Courtney. But Kacie B. and Nicki just talked about her, to him, and said, you don't know what she's like, and blah blah blah. And then he questioned her just before the rose ceremony, because they didn't have the usual cocktail party, and he asked her, again, and she basically said, you know, I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be with you. I mean, I just think that chick makes the show. If they didn't hate Courtney, this season would be completely boring. The women are boring.