Newt Gingrich's Sexy Valentine's Day Plans Could Very Well Ruin Yours

There are a few things it's fun to imagine Newt Gingrich doing: sitting in a dunk tank, riding in a hot air balloon with family of goats, or having to take a nap on a display bed in a crowded IKEA, for example. And there are a lot of things we'd rather not see him do—governing the country is the first thing that comes to mind. But at the very top of the list of things we absolutely do not want to envision Newt doing is anything that involves marital relations, which is why this little comment he made at a campaign event tonight is so disturbing. When asked what his Valentine's Day plans with Callista were, he answered,

All I can promise is that I believe she will be quite happy tomorrow night. I think for the first time in a while we have a private dinner and hopefully [can] exchange gifts, and reconnect a little bit.

He then paused while the crowd "chuckled" before closing with,

No more details.

People in the room cheered, I guess because everyone wants a virile leader—and nothing says virility like screwing a new woman before you're even done with the old one. But people outside of the room are now left to shudder in horror. Best of luck enjoying your own romantic evening now that you know somewhere there's a plastic blonde bob being transformed into bedhead while a red-faced power fiend is in the general vicinity. (I know sex requires more than just being near each other, but that's as far as my brain will let me go.) Happy Valentine's Day from the Gingrich campaign!

Newt has special Valentine's Day plans [Politico]