Michele Bachmann Is Perfect, Says Michele Bachmann

Former Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann has been busy since dropping out of the race after a disappointing finish in Iowa's caucuses. She's running for reelection to her Minnesota congressional seat, she's firing her staff members, and most of all, she's letting America know that they blew it big time when they didn't give her the GOP nomination, as she was the perfect candidate. We can't miss you if you don't ever go away, Michele.

Although rumors have been flying that Bachmann would be endorsing one of the remaining GOP field, she set the record straight yesterday, insisting her goal was more high-level. She can't be bothered to endorse a candidate when she's got important things of national concern like winning her congressional seat back. In fact, yesterday when Bloomberg's Andy Hunt asked her who the most conservative Republican Presidential candidate was, she had an answer for him that made it sound like she wasn't quite over her loss yet,

I was. I was the perfect candidate. America had their chance with the perfect candidate. But any of our candidates are going to be acceptable to the American people. More than acceptable, because right now, if you look at the Gallup map that came out this week, President Obama is in big trouble all across the country.

Do you hear that, fellow citizens? You fucked up. America, you and Michele were perfect for each other, and you just tossed her love aside like a gay son who won't go to religious-themed straight therapy classes. You blew it. Now don't come crying to Michele when you're looking for a candidate who believes that Gardasil causes "mental retardation" in teenagers or that Democratic Presidents just might be causing swine flu. You had your chance with a politician who once bravely called for an inquest into her colleagues to determine which of them were "pro-America" and which were "anti-America," and that opportunity no longer exists. The Good Ship President Bachmann has sailed. Hope you're mighty pleased with yourselves.

In the meantime Michele Bachmann's campaign, which raised $1.7 million and spent $2.6 million in the last quarter of 2011, could use some dough.

Bachmann the invisible woman in Minnesota [National Journal]