It kind of goes without saying, but Jesus Christ, do not follow the health advice of anyone on Jersey Shore. On last night's episode, Snooki was suffering from a urinary tract infection (which we later learned was caused by anal sex). Experiencing classic symptoms like loss of bladder control (she wet her pants at the club), the constant feeling like she has to pee, and extreme discomfort, she decided to self-medicate—with booze. Snooki claimed that she was qualified to make such a call because she used to be a vet tech, and while she did act like an animal by urinating on the floor of her home, we find it hard to believe that any doctor would suggest that a cat do body shots off of Deena as a form of pain management. In fact drinking booze and licking salt is probably the worst thing you can do for your UTI, short of wiping back to front. You need to hydrate. And not with the sugary cranberry juice, but the organic kind that tastes disgusting. Horrible hydration practices aside, it's kind of refreshing to hear a girl on basic cable speaking so frankly about her pee-hole problems.