Match.com's latest survey on single people and their attitudes busts some myths about commitment-phobic, baby-hating men. It has also brought out the trolls.
A rep for Match assured me this study isn't your average dating-site online poll — it used a random sample of 5,000 American singletons, gay and straight, not just Match.com members. Many of its findings are contained in a post by Match consultant Dr. Helen Fisher, with the amusing title of "The Forgotten Sex: Men" (crap! I knew I forgot one!). Fisher notes that men and women in the study were equally likely to want to get married — across the board, 33% of each gender did. And at least between the ages of 21 and 34, men were actually a bit more likely to want kids than women were — 51% of guys wanted babies, compared with 46% of women. Also, "in a committed relationship, men are less likely to say they need personal space (58% vs 77% of women); less likely to want nights out with friends (23% vs 35% of women); less eager to own their own bank account (47% vs 66% of women); and less likely to want to take a vacation on their own (8% vs 12%)." None of this should be all that shocking — lots of research and anecdotal evidence has dismissed the notion that guys are emotionless jerks who just want you to fuck them and leave them alone.
This part is a little surprising, though: the study found that men were actually more willing than women to commit to someone they didn't find sexually attractive. This isn't particularly happy news — in most situations, committing to someone you're not attracted to is a bad idea. But it does fly in the face of the idea that guys think with their dicks while ladies just care about a guy's car.
Another fun fact: if you post a study about Americans' dating habits, assholes will flock to the comments section to talk about how women are superficial gold-diggers. Says one guy,
Sad, but true, most wmen want all the benefits of equality, except when it comes to dating. Then, they'l let the man pick up the tab and make him feel like a creep if he should want them to show a modicum of affection (and yes, I'm only talking about a squeeze of the hand, a heartfelt hug or a "simple" kiss) – not, "let's play doctor and nurse at your place."
But this comment, by one Larry Campbell, is my favorite:
I am a paying customer on [Match]. I have e-mailed over 50 women. I don't have a photo on my profile. I do this for a purpose. It's a test. I want to discover if a woman is attracted to the real me or is she just interested in my BODY! So far, I have not found a single woman on match.com among the hundreds of women listed who will even e-mail me back. Their ingrained prejudice is really blatant. Most of these women are DIVORCED!!! Most of them are also very rude. They won't even show you the courtesy of e-mailing you back to say that they are not interested. Why would I want to have a relationship with rude woman. This site is mainly full of divorced women chasing after who? You guessed it divorced men. I am not a divorcee. That sets me apart from most of these people but all the women think that if you have not chosen to marry yet, there is something wrong with you. Well, how about them? They are all products of failed marriages. There is something wrong with THEM!! But they still think THEY are good candidates for marriage. Give me a break. These women need to stop lying to themselves.
If it's true that women are actually less likely than men to discount sexual attraction when it comes to commitment, maybe some ladies on Match are just interested in guys' "BODIES." But I sort of doubt that's why they're not writing Larry back.
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