A new book that's been making the rounds on the parenting scene, Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman, would like you to know that your American child rearing techniques are creating an army of self-entitled little monsters hellbent on eating their way through your home and probably your soul. Well, what did you — with your NASCAR t-shirt and that slice of Kraft cheese hanging out of your mouth — expect? That, by comforting your crying infant, you weren't spoiling an entire generation? Ha, typical American arrogance. What you should be doing is raising your kids the French way by feeding them solely Gauloises cigarettes and unfiltered wine.

In truth, the "French" parenting method is more about setting boundaries and not letting your children be the center of your universe, though to say that there's a cultural cookie-cutter way to raise your kids seems a little incroyable. The particulars of American parenting run the gamut as they do in any culture, yes, including the French. Just ask this kid.