The more time we spend on Twitter, the better most of us get at tweeting so that we don't annoy the hell out of all of our followers. And, yet, there are still those people who just can't seem to do it right. They mean well, but their tweets are just, well, annoying. In an effort to actually quantify what constitutes a good and bad tweet, researchers Paul André of Carnegie Mellon, Michael Bernstein of MIT, and Kurt Luther of Georgia Tech have done a new study examining what we want from tweets and what we hate.
The results pretty much confirm what you already know from the vague feelings of distaste and unease you get while scrolling through your news feed: don't be boring. Do try to be funny and interesting. In other words, no talking about your latest meal, no going into overly personal details about your life, don't talk about old news, don't make it too long, don't overdo it on hashtags, and don't whine. Using the study's findings, Megan Garber of The Atlantic set about crafting the most annoying tweet possible:
BREAKING: Last week I had a #sandwich that was SO HORRIBLE, it made me want to #scream. Seriously, why can't they make better #sandwiches?
It just about captures all of the terribleness of Twitter in a single tweet. And yet, it is missing a little something. I can't quite put my... Oh, yes, the humble brag. The worst Twitter crime of all. Let's add in a dash of subtle boasting and try this once more:
BREAKING: Last week Ryan Gosling made me a #sandwich that was SO BAD, it made me want to #scream. Seriously, why can't he make #sandwiches?