Here at Jezebel, we get a lot of emails. Many of them are nice, helpful emails! Quite a number, however, are totally bizarre. Below, our favorite batshit email of the week.
We get lots of emails about products, many of them strange — for some reason mannequins seem to figure prominently. This one actually refers to something we occasionally cover at Jezebel, but it's amusing nonetheless:
This is Dr. Hong from FLOWER BUD SEX TOYS. I'm writing to you to ask about advertise and cooperation with your company/online store.
FLOWER BUD SEX TOYS is a sex toy and SM gear manufacturer, located in Shenzhen, China. For further information, please feel free to visit our website:
We are vendor for some world famous sex toy brands. For protecting product confidential info, we only published parts of our made products in our website, if you are interested in knowing what we can offer you, please feel free to give me a reply so that I can send you our price lists for your reference and compare.
Thank you very much for your time.
A quick trip to loveflowerbud.com reveals that, among more run-of-the-mill offerings, the site sells fake hymens — which, if you'll remember, "ooze out a liquid that look like blood not too much but just the right amount." The Flower Bud folks ask, "Is there a cheap and convenient way to become a virgin again??? There IS – Fake Hymen!!!" What a relief.